Sharing: What could be… what could have been?

Such a terrific post, in so many ways.  I’ve been thinking a lot about this, too.  It’s so tempting to play the “what if?” game.  Sometimes it’s fun and interesting.  Sometimes it’s depressing and sad.  And sometimes, it’s both.  As the (talented) author states, “I can spend my precious time feeling sorry for myself, or I can realize the benefits I’ve gotten from the life I’ve led.”  Bravo!!  🙂

Autistic Ultra

sunset solitude falling stars Sometimes I just have to wonder…

I’ve been thinking a lot, lately, about how could my life have been (and be right now), if I weren’t so wiped out all the time. Yeah, I’ve been perseverating about it, caught up in a self-defeating loop of “what if” scenarios that always end up making me look like a total loser and a liability to the world. I’ve been low-level depressed for weeks, now, and I frequently find myself just dragging myself through my days out of habit, rather than any particular interest or motivation.

The thing that’s dragging on me, is how it’s gray and rainy and cool and October, and I’m not in Europe. Ever since I moved to Germany in 1985 (I lived there for 2 years, while I attended uni), I’ve had this intense association between the kind of weather we’ve been having now, and being in Germany. It’s…

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