(Beginning note: this post was inspired by the song of the same name as the post title by the Canadian band The Grapes of Wrath. An excellent video to the full album-recorded version of the song can be found here (link to video on Vimeo).)
We all know That One, or maybe Those Ones. The ones who can be who they are, easily and effortlessly, without a care in the world. The ones who could get away with anything, and we’d still love, like, or look up to them anyway.
I was never That One. I never felt like I was pivotal or influential in anyone else’s life.
I spent my entire life wishing I could be.
But for whatever reason, nature dealt me this hand that is half-magical, half-debilitating. Nature has both a yin and a yang, a sense of humor and a mean streak.
Because I never knew I “had” Asperger’s (in quotes because I know that it’s something I am, not something I have), I’ve always had a hard time defining myself based on what I am. It had become a lot easier to define myself based on what I wasn’t…
…..The popular girl
…..The charismatic leader
…..The sullen one everybody gave a free pass to and loved anyway
…..The hard one that nobody messed with
…..The one who got noticed
…..The one who got understood
…..The one who wound up in the right place at the right time
…..The one anybody believed in
…..The one who could just get to the point
…..The one who could make it through the day without inadvertently offending someone
…..The one who could refrain from playing devil’s advocate
…..The competent one who got picked/chosen
…..The one people looked up to
…..The one anybody listened to
…..The cool one that people think of
…..The powerful one
…..The assertive one who could properly defend herself
…..The easygoing one who could let it roll off
…..The one who could see the obvious
…..The one who could fit in
…..The one who could do no wrong
…..The pretty one
…..The lucky one
…..The funny one
…..The forgivable one
…..The lovable one.