Sharing: Letting Go Of Fitting In

What a brilliant post!  No wonder it was one of only six selected for reading at the recent AANE conference – I would question their judgment if it HADN’T been selected!  I can relate so much to practically all of this.  Congrats, my friend!  🙂 ❤

Eclectic Autistic

I was very honored to present this essay yesterday as one of six personal accounts selected to be read at the AANE Spring 2017 Conference, which was titled Hiding in Plain Sight: Shining Light on Women with Asperger/Autism Profiles.

I have never fit in.

I’m not entirely sure I fit in here, at a conference about women on the autism spectrum. I’ve never fully identified as a woman, and I found out only a year and a half ago that I’m on the autism spectrum. So trying to tell my story as an autistic woman almost feels revisionist, even when I’m telling the absolute truth.

I grew up not knowing why I didn’t fit in. I was just too weird, my viewpoint and sense of humor incomprehensible. Academically, I was “too smart”; socially, I was mocked for my naiveté, teased for my way of speaking, bullied for my shyness. I was seen…

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  1. youve gotta wonder if the gender binary is really an nt thing. when i was really young, everybody was separating into genders. i was like “im gonna go talk to the ones that arent running around playing sports. oh, i cant– theres some weird forcefield everyone else is paying attention to. funny i cant tell its there.”

    now theres a weird forcefield around these conferences: its like this sh** never ends. id like to maybe go to some tech conferences, but so many of them are women-only. its nice to know people are inventing more ways to keep me excluded from things.what? no, i dont take it personally at all. ive only been stuck kind of “outside” of things all my life, why would one more example make any real difference? oh i dunno– because tech is one of the few things in life i wasnt already excluded from?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think you’re right – the gender binary seems to be an NT thing. From what I know of myself and many other Aspie/autistic people out there, we don’t tend to put as much stock in anatomy in general. We tend more toward valuing what’s truly inside. Gender becomes less relevant; it’s all about the core (at least, for me, and based on what I’ve seen) 😊

      Liked by 2 people

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