The Mirror [Creative Writing on the Asperger’s / autism spectrum]

Some of you who have become familiar with this blog (Thank You! 🙂 ) may have already stumbled upon the fact that music presents an pervasive underlying theme in my life.

Some of you may also be aware of my quirky pastime of co-opting other peoples’ songs and writing my own substituted “lyrics” to them, an eccentricity that dates back about 25 years.

Today marks the one-year anniversary of my initial Asperger’s/autism discovery.  A year ago today, I had kicked off my journey by taking my very first online questionnaire. Although the online screenings are merely screening tools, the Asperger’s/Autism Quotient test is incredibly research supported, such that 86% of those scoring between 26 and 31 on a scale of 50 would be diagnose-able as Aspergian/autistic, and the odds were even higher the higher the score.

My first score was 43.

Not surprisingly, my jaw dropped.

Today, I’ve come full circle in a few ways.  One is the literal trip around the sun.  Another involves my self-discovery and the whole new world–and lovely community!–that have subsequently opened up for me.

One of my favorite pastimes is reflection.  Some would say that that’s not productive, because the past is the past.  They’re right about the past being in the past, and the past being what it is, without the ability to change it.  But I still think that, done in a healthy manner, it can indeed prove productive.  Part of the benefit to me comes through the fact that the reflection is another opportunity to further process an event or milestone.

Occasionally, I apply that reflection and processing to a creative filter, which further liberates my syntax and allows me to paint or sketch with words.  Here is the vibe I’m feeling today, regarding the beginning of my journey a year ago.

For me to be able to fully and accurately communicate the entirety of the creative writing, the reader must play the same song in their own mind that I had while writing it.  Think of it as a rudimentary form of retro-telepathy, or a telepathy after the fact.  (And who says we’re not capable of empathy??) 😉

The song is by Mazzy Star, a mellow, folkish alternative band from the 1990s.  Although they were known for their hit “Fade Into You”, this song is even better.  It’s called “Into Dust”, and the best-quality video I could find is here.  For best results, I recommend playing it in a separate tab while reading below, or perhaps listening to the song in its entirety and then maintaining it in your mind while reading in silence… ❤

Screen Shot 2017-03-23 at 3.11.47 PM

 

Thank you for reading this!  That means all the lovely world to me ❤

Header Image Source: my favorite tree on my favoritest of gloomy dark late-afternoons in winter, taken with my mobile (of all photography tools).  (My partner says it even looks like a shattered mirror, which I thought was cool ❤


Related Post:

My Experience of a Late Asperger’s / Autism Discovery, As Seen Through a Creative Writing Filter ~ July 26, 2016

 

 

 

 

 

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13 Comments

  1. I was trying to remember what test my parents and I took those years ago! I remembered my score but not the test. The test you mention is the one! My score was 34.

    While always having been more of a poet of my own rhythms, I have at times put my own words to songs. Also my poems have always been apt to incorporate allusions to lyrics from songs within my lines. Poetry doesn’t flow for me as it once did. My two poems I have posted on this blog are ten years old! But once in awhile the poet still arrives in me and it’s the best feeling.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. A magnificent feeling indeed, isn’t it? Omg I get such a rush during creative times 🎊🎉. That’s really cool that you’ve alluded to existing song lyrics in your writing! How cool 😊. Some of my blog posts on my “other” blog (which is still active, although not nearly as much as this one), and I get a kick out of it, even if I’m not sure anyone else gets it 😂💖

      Keep writing, luv! You’ve definitely got a fan here 👏🏼💙

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I appreciate that. This blog is really the most consistent writing I’ve done in a while.

        I remember a few months ago I was talking with a friend about how sad I was no one could tell me stories from my childhood anymore. She told me to start telling my own stories. I was a bit befuddled at the time, wondering who I was gonna tell them to! I mean I was already telling them to close friends and it wasn’t alleviating that sadness. I actually hadn’t thought of her words again until now, but I suppose this is me taking her advice in a sense. Writing this blog is helping me at any rate.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, luv! It’s been an amazing journey so far, and of course, it shows no signs of slowing down 😘💚💙

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Congratulations and Happy Diagnosiversary! I’m taking another closer look at my own scores, these days. It seems to be a recurring theme with me. I’ll go along for a while, just living my life, then I’ll come back ’round again… and be like, “Hey look! I’m SO on the spectrum!” Ha – always an adventure.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Lol! Yeah!! 🎊🎉. I just retook my tests and my RAADS-R score was 206! LOLOL 😂💪🏼❤️

      Thank you for the well wishes, dear one 💓

      Like

  3. Happy Discovery/Recognition Day! 💐🍻🎉🎊🎈 Reflection on the past is how we gauge our progress & learn our lessons. *Dwelling* on the past is where we get stuck. 💞Mazzy Star💞 the feeling I always get is floating in warm, flowing, gently rocking water…. I love your lyrics! 😘 When I make up song lyrics I’m usually being silly to entertain the kiddo, or myself😝 I am a VERY silly person! All this Synchronicity in my life right now is so awesome. I’m loving it!💖

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you dear!! I really appreciate that 😊❤️ Isn’t Mazzy simply sublime? Omg you described them perfectly! 🙌🏼. Synchronicity rocks! I feel it, too 😘💜

      Liked by 1 person

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