Diagnostic criteria for Allistic Spectrum Disorder [ICD: F84.6; DSM: 299.99]

(Beginning Note #1: This is meant to be tongue-in-cheek satire, folks 🙂  This is not meant to generalize or lump together all neurotypical people, especially not in a hostile, critical, or degrading way.  It’s just a different perspective, half-funny and half-food-for-thought.  That is all.  Nothing more.) 🙂

(Beginning Note #2: A similar piece has already been written, by the lovely Anonymously Autistic/Anna (whose blog I totally recommend!) and reblogged on this blog here.  True to the synergism I often witness in the Asperger’s/autism spectrum community, I had been cooking up a post of my own along these very lines since around this time last year, and I sat on it so that I could share it in a humorous spirit during Autism Acceptance/Appreciation Month.) 🙂 ❤

This is how an allistic (non-autistic) person who displayed low prevalence of Asperger’s/autism spectrum characteristics…

The American Psycanotic Association’s Disastrous and Senseless Manual, X-Files Edition (DSM-X) provides standardized criteria to help diagnose Allistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD):

A – Persistent excesses in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

  1. Excessive display of social-emotional entanglement, ranging, for example, from intrusive and uninvited social approach and abbreviated/rapid back and forth conversation, unsolicited sharing of trivial information and superficial interests, emotions, or affect; attention-seeking behaviors, unnecessary initiation of and response to social interactions.
  2. Excessive nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from a failure to match verbal with nonverbal communication (e.g., hidden meanings and compulsive “white” lying), over-sensitivity to the perceived/assumed feelings of others, an insistence upon incessantly staring at the other person while talking and especially listening, to excessive use of judgmental or critical thoughts in response to misunderstanding of hidden meanings or responses to a failure to communicate clearly.
  3. Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social environments (e.g., the discussion of irrelevant topics such as sports or gossip during work hours), mundane fixations with other people (neighbors, coworkers, classmates, other peers), difficulties with being alone, or a dependency on peers.

B – Dichotomous patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least three of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

  1. Stereotyped repetitive movements, use of objects, or speech, including reflexive, nonsensical “catch-phrases”, such as “I’m fine, how are you?”, the compulsive stereotypical handshake greeting, texting while operating a motor vehicle, or engaging in “small talk”.
  2. Insistence upon unnecessary change, including but not limited to: extreme distress and boredom when faced with environmental or daily consistency, attention-deficit-like shifts in attention, adherence to arbitrary and baseless trends, annoyance toward longer in-depth conversations and detailed subject matter, inconsistent thinking patterns, yet nonsensical greeting rituals (as mentioned above), the compulsive need to do something different every day or wear different clothing each season; a generalized pervasive lack of stability and consistency; superficial interests akin to a “jack of all trades, master of none” patterns.
  3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with mundane topics or persona figures, such as infatuation with celebrity figures, aggressive and competitive sports, current events, sexual intercourse, specific body parts (especially those related to sexual behavior), and preoccupation with superficial characteristics such as outward personal appearance and physical attributes, and preoccupation with (and unwavering adherence to) subjective social “rules”.
  4. Hyporeactivity (a dulled, inadequate, or insufficient response) to sensory input and an unusual disinterest in sensory aspects of the environment, such as failing to smell the extent of body product scents, the compulsive use of salt and MSG in dietary foods, failure to register disgusting food textures or rough clothing or sheets, an abnormal ignorance of the sensations of confining clothing, a need for excessive music volume, or an abnormal tolerance for bright light.

C – Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (and usually manifest inherently/intuitively, although possibly assisted by parental or academic guidance).

D – Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning, including lower productivity at work, dishonesty in and/or lack of depth of friendships and relationships, impaired focus and memory, excessive sleep, increased risk of extra-partnership affairs, preoccupation with sexual activity, and the like.

E – These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability (intellectual developmental disorder) or global developmental delay. Intellectual disability and allistic spectrum disorder frequently co-occur; to make comorbid diagnoses of allistic spectrum disorder and intellectual disability, social communication should be excessive compared to that expected for general developmental level.

Footnote: Individuals with a confirmed DSM-X diagnosis of Attention Impairment Disorder, Small Talk Disorder, Restless Personality Disorder, Social Intrusive Disorder, or another similar disorder not otherwise specified should be given the diagnosis of Allistic Spectrum Disorder.

Again, this was just for fun, and wasn’t meant to offend anyone 🙂 ❤

Related Posts:

Sharing: Diagnostic Criteria For Neurotypical Spectrum Disorder ~ January 31, 2017

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To Neurotypicality: a Handbook on the Rest of the World For Asperger’s / Autistic People ~ August 28, 2016

Depathologizing Asperger’s / Autism ~ In a Way, Neurotypical People Might Meet the Criteria, Too ~ January 21, 2017

A World Dominated By Asperger’s / Autistic People… ~ August 10, 2016

A World Dominated By Asperger’s / Autistic People… Part 2 ~ August 12, 2016

Depathologizing Asperger’s / Autism ~ The Diagnostic Criteria Edition ~ November 6, 2016


(Image Credit: Karin Zeller)



      1. likewise 😘😉💜 and you really did. hey, do you have any notion how long the terms allistic and neurotypical have kicked around? at least which came first, but also which is more typical, whether it varies by region, and how long each is used for?

        i dont expect you to have those answers, but im stating my curiosity about them. if you find any of those answers, id love to hear about it.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Sweet! I was just fixing to google it (I should probably read all the comments before taking action, eh? Lol) – CBC is awesome 😊. Thank you for this link! ❤️💞


    1. Hehe thank you so much, luv!! 😁🤗. So, so happy you enjoyed it 💖🎤🙌🏼


    1. Thank you! 😊. It was fun to write. And of course, it was all in good fun 😉. I’m also glad it’s thought-provoking, too; provoking thought is fun, too 😉💓💜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you so much! Recipes are easy, but to make fun of all the ASD hogwash we are being bombarded with takes a true satirical talent, in addition to detailed knowledge of the specifics. That DSM-X-Files was a great touch!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Haha! I’d read something like it before, but it’s always amusing.
    You know, I have always felt pity for those poor Allistic Syndrome sufferers, whose disorder compels them to holiday in packs, “hang out” at the park for hours or play team sports on a Saturday morning, whereas I have the capacity to move around independently and spend my leisure time on self-directed pursuits.
    (This comment is of course tongue-in-cheek as well!)

    Liked by 1 person

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