When do I get to be me? [autistic poetry]

Another one came right after the first one.  Here it is 🙂

Just a face in the crowd

Would you be able to tell?

Can you see any scars?

Any evidence of hell?


There’s a crack in the sky

Where it all rained down

I don’t know what’s beyond

I can’t hear the sound


Elephants in the room

Can someone tell me why

Masquerades are the rule

And I’m wrong for being wry


There’s a knock at the door

The skeletons fall through

Hanging next to my coat

Relief, it’s only you


Just a face in the crowd

Just a fact of my life

Just a whisper on a wing

Just a bump in the night


Make me run to the end

Prove to me I’m alive

Give me color to see

Make me burst from inside


Make it all become real

No question left unasked

Show me my real face

For I have been masked

Too long


Leave me now with my thoughts

Hashing over again

What I might should have said

Who I might should have been


Maybe now I will break

Maybe now I will bust

You could be entertained

Stick around if you must


I’m not sure what to think

There’s a settle to the score

I’m not sure how I feel

Maybe I wanted more


There’s a chain link to break

Would this one hold the key?

How much more can I take?

When do I get to be me?


There’s a ruse on the wind

There’s a spark in the sky

Maybe this is the reason

I’ve been forever asking why


A presence in the room

A shadow in the hall

A word left unsaid

A secret passage in the wall


I’m just scratching my head

I’m just looking around

It’s what I do best

Is there a spirit Lost & Found?


When do I get my chance?

When will it be my turn?

I think I’m ready to speak

I think it’s starting to burn


  1. you’ve captured the conundrum of women with autism perfectly here. sometimes it’s like a heavy winter coat in the middle of summer…or a back pack filled with bricks…you want to just take them off, drop them, and sigh with relief (after being recognized for a change). this one pulled at the heart strings and tear ducts. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Omg my lovely, *you* just summed it up perfectly 😉❤️. Thank you for such beautiful words and encouraging support 😘🌺💓

      Liked by 2 people

  2. best poem ive read in a while. (granted i dont read a lot of poems these days, but i really did like this one. its got zero hints of being pretentious, and its not awkward at all. that puts it above most of why i dont read many poems in the first place.) ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 🤗💝🤗💝 I can’t describe how that makes me feel 😘😘. I’ve been writing creatively for (omg) 25 years and it will never stop warming my heart when someone shows they really like it 💘🌟💘

      Liked by 2 people

        1. (Giggles with delighted excitement) I know you do. I know you mean it 100%+ when you say that 🤗🙌🏼💓💓

          Liked by 1 person

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