Are Asperger’s / autistic people bossy?

As most bloggers are aware, Google encrypts keyword searches, and has been doing so since 2013.  “User protection” makes for a flimsy claim, but it’s Google’s story and they’re sticking to it.  Which might have been halfway believable if it didn’t also extend to users who weren’t even logged in.  But I digress.

Nevertheless, I see keyword search strings from other search engines, and the words “Asperger’s” and “bossy” have shown up in relation to each other.  Apparently, curious minds want to know.

So, I’ll deliver, at least one (that’s me) person’s take (because although practically every well-recognized informative source talks about Asperger’s/autism in terms of “we/us”, there’s an unwritten rule somewhere against my doing that, even if I’ve issued the applicable disclaimers that hardly anyone else feels the need to, but ah hell, I digress again lol.

(Maybe the heat, humidity, and sheer absence of breeze have really gotten to me today.  And even though I’m loaded down with two types of bug-repelling essential oil, I must keep walking the entire time I write this on my mobile, lest I add to the two dozen new mosquito bites I’ve sustained in the past 24 hours.  It’s enough to make one touchy.  But it’s that or stay inside and listen to the cat meow (literally) 100 more times for stuff I’ve already given him.  And–I’ll shut up now.  Because Digressing!)

Where was I?  Oh yeah–bossy!  Well this sure as shizz is an aptly spitfire topic now, isn’t it?

I’ve had my share of being on the receiving end of The Bossy Accusation.

I’m going to make my defenses pretty short and sweet.  (As long as I also get accused by the world at large for being “too blunt”, then might as well give the accusers “something to (figuratively) ‘cry’ about”.  (Ya know?)

If I’m coming across as “bossy”…

In some cases, I really am right, and I happen to know it.  This isn’t true all the time, but sometimes I get lucky, and in comparison to the common-denominating average, empirical data shows my odds of being correct are slightly higher than the average bear.  (Don’t worry, yours probably are too!). And although that sounds like massively sociopathic grandiose ego talking, it’s not; it’s simply my perception of weighing in commentary and thinking up potential solutions and strategies and whatnot, and the utter cluelessness of the Kim K/Kanye West-obsessed average American. Or, I might think more logically and faster than my loved ones at times.  So, sometimes I’m being semi-authoritative, but sometimes it’s because I’m right.  (Which has only recently begun to be recognized, so it was more than a bit of a sore spot for quite a while.)

Sometimes, the world at large is simply too oversensitive, and I’m not actually being bossy at all, but some might think I am.  Some segments of the world have a slight oppositional-defiant flair to them, where any hint of suggestion might be interpreted as a tyrant’s executive order, during a time of martial law.

Sometimes I may be bossy and it stems much less from some egomaniacal desire (which it hardly ever would be anyway) and much more of an anxiety-based tension, created by some variable, an Unknown in a challenging equation, something that has me feeling compelled to nail down a few details and convert a few Unknowns into Knowns, for my own peace of mind.

I can’t really think of a whole lot of other possibilities at the moment but if I do, I’ll either add to this post, or create the “Part 2″sequel that y’all have come to love (or not lol).  Either way, I won’t remain too silent. 😉

I can vehemently say that any air of bossiness (or the mere perception thereof because let’s face it; communication takes two) does not, for me, stem from any desire to be king/queen/dictator, nor is it an egotistic megalomania, nor is it a sociopathic narcissism, borderline or bipolar tendency, or any overblown, overinflated, melodramatic, or overplayed anything.

If anything, it comes from a humble logic mixed with fear, uncertainty, and self-consciousness, increasingly tinged with frustration at the absurdity of the ruling common denominator.  And even then, the latter applies only insofar as it adversely impacts, inconveniences, harms, limits, or costs me in some (very undesirable) way.

I do not generally wish to exert or assert my will over anyone else’s.  Hell, I would rather remain relatively unknown to the world.  I’m not itching to see my name blazing in Marquee lights.  I’d rather quietly and simply live and let live, so long as no one is impacted negatively in the process.  Unless another strategy is warranted, I’d rather speak with a whisper, walk with no footprint, and leave the world the same as–or better than–I found it.

There is so much that I would attempt to instill and encourage in the world, but I don’t expect anyone to listen, and for the most part, that’s fine.

Part of me does want to leave a slightly more significant impression, speak with–perhaps not a louder voice, but a more solid one, fortified with more confidence.

But that isn’t the same as being bossy.  Only in a world absent logic would a little more confidence or healthy strength (or at least an absence of weakness and meekness) be considered “bossy”.  🙂

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(Image Credit: Cyril Rolando)

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