I was just trying to be friendly 

Maybe I tried a little too hard.

Maybe I agreed a little too often.  Maybe I smiled a little too wide.  Maybe I laughed a little too loud. 

Maybe I hung around a little too long. 

 Maybe I said yes a little too eagerly.  Maybe I offered a little too much of myself.  Maybe I talked a little too much.  Maybe I shared a little too soon.  Maybe I was a little too honest/bold. 

 Maybe I tried to help a little too strongly. Maybe I tried to please a little too much.  Maybe I bent a little too far.  Maybe I went a little too far. 

 Maybe I obsessed a little too much.  Maybe I replayed that conversation a few too many times.  Maybe I listened a little too intently.  Maybe I came across a little too intense.  Maybe I nodded a little too vigorously. 

 Maybe I was a little too predictable.  Maybe I was a little too perfectionistic.  Maybe I was a little too stubborn.  Maybe I was a bit too boring.  Maybe I came across a little too strange.

And maybe, I still obsess a little too much.

Related Posts:

I tried to be cool ~ February 22, 2017

School life as a little Aspie girl ~ June 11, 2016

The fondness spectrum ~ March 17, 2016

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33 Comments

  1. Ah, my sweet spectrum sis. This was like reading my own mind right in front of me. How well I understand every bit of this. I wish I had great suggestions, but all I can think to say I have had countless many of these times in my life. Whatever you do, don’t stop being you. 😘😘😘

    Liked by 5 people

  2. It happens to all of us, I think. Still, rejection (even if just trying to be friends with someone) hurts. I don’t really blame the other person for a lack of understanding, but it still hurts when it does happen.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. And maybe you are perfect just the way your are! Okay, maybe not “perfect” cuz no one is. How about awesomely, fantastically, brilliantly, wonderfully, wicked cool?! Yeah, that works! 😍😘😘🌟🎉☮☯🌷💐✨❤💛💚💙💜💌💌💥💫🐬🐉🍀🐲🕊🌸🌺🌼🌹🌛🌞🌜🌠🌈🎊🎉😎

    Liked by 5 people

  4. sigh. This is all too familiar to me. I try so hard to be liked and it backfires. I’ve been driven off twitter by people who didn’t understand my intentions. You have my deepest sympathies. But never stop being you, because you are unique and infinitely precious. Don’t take a diamond and attempt to make it into an emerald. REVEL in your shiny blingy diamondness 😉 hehe x

    or, as a great writer one said

    “This above all- to thine own self be true,
    And it must follow, as the night the day.
    Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thank you luv! I love your comment 😁. I can so relate to the social media experience you described, especially Twitter (!) 💚💙. We’ll definitely revel in our shiny blingy diamondness!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💓💜💓

      Like

  5. Reblogged this on The Aging Aspie and commented:
    Ooof. This hit me right in the feels. Recent events on Twitter were caused by similar events. I wish people had more awareness of how hard I/we try to fit in and how I/we don’t always get it right. (hugs)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. 💐💐. Yep. Me too 💞💞. I have 2 good friends from my high school years, and 2 others in my local area. Finally, I now have some close inner-circular lovelies in the online autistic community 🙌🏼. But yeah, you nailed it perfectly ❤️💛💚

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Growing up in Europe, we give big hugs & two kisses. So
    when we moved to America it was always very jarring when
    a hug is more like a quick pat on the back & abruptly pull
    away. I respect peoples space, but I do miss the warm
    greetings and embraces experienced in Europe. 🤗🤗🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, that would be heavenly! When I first learnt about European greetings, I thought, “yeah! I like that better.” I think the American way of greeting speaks to the overall vibe of superficiality in this country. We think we’re all warm and fuzzy, but really we’re not, and I wish we were. At least I can change my own surroundings; those warm embraces are certainly welcome with me! 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  7. well i adore you.

    theres a cute story about mindy kaling (from the office) where she talks about how she wanted people in school to like her so she brought a bag of skittles in to bribe everyone with. theres a scene in the office where pam talks about the same thing with the candy on her desk (probably the episode where people bring their kids to work.)

    the make-your-friends-and-peers-like-you thing is a classic with anyone that has anxiety (kaling had terrible anxiety at meetings about the office) and that overlaps nicely with aspies who “stick out” a little and are therefore likely to work a little harder to get accepted. (for now anyway.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww! I adore you too! 🤗🤗

      Yeah! If I would have thought of candy as a bribing strategy, I probably would have done it lol 😉. The rest of what you said is so true, too!! ❤️❤️. I’m really low on cognitive energy (I’ve been peopling all morning at work), so I better stop here but just know that: ❤️💚💙💜💓💟💌😘👍🏼👏🏼💪🏼🌷🌺🌟🙌🏼

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I can relate with your words here… as sometimes we might have high expectations when it comes to others…. We feel those others might behave in a reciprocate way, so to speak. In my personal experience, it is better to slow it down, as both parts can be damaged at the end. Less pressure, more fun…. I took me a lot of time to figured that out, though 😊 wishing you a great weekend

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So very true! Thank you so much for commenting 😊💚💙. You give some really great advice here – “slow it down, as both parts can be damaged at the end. Less pressure, more fun” – wise words, my friend! It took me a long time to realize that, too 💓✨💓

      Liked by 1 person

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