15 More things not to say (or do) to an (this) Asperger’s / autistic person

It’s been a about a year (give or take) since I’ve written a post on the dos and don’ts of things not to say or do, and after several more moons of knowing I’m autistic/an Aspie, a few more have accumulated.  And it’s been a while since I’ve written an honest-to-goodness informational post.  So today, I thought I’d revive an “old” tradition.

One might think I make notes on this stuff as it comes to mind.  I do.  (Lol.)

Of course, these are merely my observations and my own thoughts on them.  I don’t expect this perspective to be universal, or even common, but I’m sure something on this list will speak to someone and thus, I write.

So, I’ll start writing.  Here goes, in my typical list-making fashion…

1 – “Oh, you must be high-functioning.”

Please–Don’t Be That Person.  Any sentence containing “you must be” is an assumption, and you know what They Say about the word “assume” and its spelling and all that.

If that weren’t filled enough to the brim with potential land mines, let’s factor in the sheer wrong-ness of the statement.  Maybe I’m functioning OK today.  And maybe, so are you.  All is calm, all is bright.

But now, let’s stress the human system.  Kind of like building an epic metropolis on SimCity and then tearing it down with Godzilla or something.

If the human system encounters a Godzilla attack that is destructive enough or lasts long enough, the system will suffer.  It might even destabilize.

By assuming I’m “high-functioning” (whatever that even means anymore), people who say stuff like this are, by comparison, speaking poorly of those who act differently.  Which, on many days, includes me.

Not only that, but they’re undermining the sheer force of will (and luck) it often takes for me to suppress my natural self and create a likable Pseudo-Me that gets past the social metal detectors.

Please, never make assumptions, never put anyone else down (even if it’s disguised as a compliment to my face), and never underestimate the energy it takes for me to persuade the world to accept me.

2 – Everybody’s like that/everyone goes through that sometimes.

It’s true that the Asperger’s/autism spectrum does not necessarily hold a monopoly on any one trait.  Asperger’s/autism is merely a collection of traits found throughout the Neuro-spectrum–it’s just that those traits are gathered in greater concentration and magnified in the Asperger’s/autism profile.

But please, I ask these people not to trivialize my experience by trying to put it on the same plane as their own.  Chances are good that I’ve spent much more time observing nonautistic people than they’ve spent watching autistic people, and I’ve had a lot more nonautistic behavior to observe.  I’ve also been lectured on socialization, expectations, social norms, etiquette, and protocol, none of which comes naturally to me.  Based on what I’ve witnessed in my 40 years, I have a lot of empirical data that concludes that people on the spectrum indeed (typically) have it tougher.

So please don’t go there.

3 – Isn’t that just an excuse to be an asshole/interesting/get attention?

Heavens no.  The last thing I want is attention.  Nor am I an asshole.  I’ll admit that I might be more likely to forgo some of the social niceties and get right to the point, telling it like it is, calling it as I see it, but goodness knows I’m not doing it to be mean or inconsiderate.  I might have simply forgotten, overlooked, or perhaps never even caught on to a particular unwritten social rule, but it’s not like I discovered I’m Aspergian/autistic and said, “woot!  I can be a dick now!”  Nope, that’s not how the story goes.

4 – Did you get vaccinated?  I bet it was caused by the vaccine.

Yes, I got vaccinated.  Yes, I handled it fine.  No, I did not have a vaccine reaction.  No, getting vaccinated didn’t throw me onto the spectrum.

I’ll tell those folks a little secret: I was born this way.  I was autistic before I got vaccinated (the vaccine schedule was very different back in my day).

I even have friends on the spectrum who were never even vaccinated.  So this is one mythological unicorn that must be laid to rest, and the sooner, the better.

5 – There are so many treatments available these days…

Please–just don’t go there.  What are we really talking about–behavior therapies?

Phooey.  They just teach autistic people how to build a mask and be “better” actors/actresses.  And there is a price paid for the speed at which this occurs.  I won’t go into details because I want to remain sensitive to trigger-potential, but let’s just say that it does more harm than good, and at the end of the day, the person is still on the autism spectrum.  It’s not like the autism goes away, or they’re any less autistic.  Nor should it, and nor should they be, respectively.

Because the way I see it, autism is not a disorder.  It’s a normal, even if uncommon, human variant.

6 – But you’re so normal!

See #1.

7 – But you’re (female, adult, black, married, etc)!

Yep, I have another piece of classified information: Asperger’s/autism is found in every segment of the population, across all geographical boundaries and ethnic lines.

And autistic people get married, have kids, earn degrees, and land jobs, too.  I do a great job of blending in–so well that I had no clue that I was on the spectrum until I was 38.

8 – Aren’t you guys psychopaths?

*Le sigh*.

(Deep breath…)

There’s a huge difference between the autism spectrum and psychopathy.  The two conditions almost could not be more different.

In my experience, the autism spectrum diagnostic criteria are frustratingly incomplete.  They paint a picture of that which can only be seen on the outside, by an observer who knows nothing about the firsthand experience–I.e., “what it’s like” to actually be on the spectrum.

The triad of social impairments may or may not look like a mental illness, specifically psychopathy (I’ll leave that one up for debate), but the internal workings of an autistic person, speaking for this autistic person, are completely different.

I’ve noticed that people who throw this remark around actually have little knowledge of what they’re talking about (how or why else would they be making such a ridiculous comment?).  They usually have no clue what a psychopath is, nor what autism is.

In over-simplified terms, I think that the key boils down to this: psychopaths are devoid of emotion or remorse for wrongdoing, whereas autistic people definitely are not.

There are so many other differences, but I don’t have the energy.  I’ve written about this in detail before, though.

9 – But you’re not like my child! My child is so much worse off than you.

See #1.

10 – Just suck it up/deal with it.

Talk about a trigger!  My (probably very snippy) retort would be: “I can’t do This or That.  There are people in this world who are different from you.  That’s something that you need to suck up/deal with.”

Of course, that’s a general retort; a more specific one would probably be in order, and it would depend upon the context of the conversation.

11 – Umm, ok – bye!

Seriously, don’t pull the same shit my extended family did and completely ignore me and fall off the face of my world right after I reveal to you my autism diagnosis.  That’s rude and uncalled for.  I didn’t change; I’m still me, the same person I was before.  Of course, I stood on the sidelines of their awareness then, too.

12 – (Back away slowly with wide eyes.)

See #11.

13 – (Start talking to me like I’m a little kid or intellectually disabled.)

See #11.

14 – (Assuming we’re all the same or that I am or am not like your kid/relative/neighbor’s kid you know “with” Asperger’s/autism)

See #1.

15 – (Vanish without a trace, stopping all contact.)

See #11.

I’m fresh out of spoons, so that’s what I can come up with, and hopefully it was at least semi-coherent.  😉

***

This is one of my most popular posts!

Advertisements

100 Comments

  1. The fact that you’ve gone through all of these makes me seriously lose faith in humanity. Not that I had much to begin with, but damn. People suck.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. As our chemistry teacher used to say when you assume, you make
    an ass out of u & me. Most times people jump to conclusions they
    miss vital pieces of information rather than actually listening, trying
    to process new important insights, and more importantly taking them
    on board. People are much more likely to share information when
    a person is polite, respectful, & actually engaged in a conversation,
    rather than “knowing it all” already. If you know everything already
    then what is the point of the communication in the first place?

    Everyone has a unique story to tell, if you take the time to listen…

    Liked by 6 people

  3. Boy, can I relate. I got most of these from my parents, in fact, particulary #2 and #3. They had to be involved in my diagnostic assessments and, at least when I attended it with them, they made it all about how they’d tried to rescue me from care and now I was going back and requesting a diagnosis (which wasn’t my own idea) for attention. I was eventually diagnosed autistic on four different occasions, but unfortunately they still believe that everyone has these same issues.

    As a side note, please realize that psychopathy, like autism, is a neurodivergent condition. Abuse is not and too often, abusers are pathologized and people with neurodivergent conditions are assumed to be abusers. Abuse is a dynamic. Psychopathy, autism, etc. are individual differences/disabilities/disorders/whatever. I’m sure you know this but, too often, people equate abuse with psychopathy or narcissism.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Totally 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. My mom’s mom is a bonafide psychopath, but totally nonviolent. Never committed a crime in her life, either 💚. I wholeheartedly agree with all you said 👍🏼👍🏼. There’s such a wide range 💞

      Like

    2. I can relate, too, to the familial part – my dad was horrible about saying some of this stuff. Sometimes he still is, but not as bad. And I have a lovely friend who, maybe because she thought I needed to be cheered up when I was discovering my Asperger’s/autism (I didn’t; it was the discovery itself that cheered me up!), was the champion of the “everybody’s like that” phrase. I know she meant well, but damn, that was annoying! 🤔. How frustrating I imagine it is to be diagnosed by multiple different specialists, only to be met with the same (incorrect) rhetoric! I feel you, my friend 💚💙

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Unfortunately- Bingo again. My experience bears this out. Fortunately I am not willing to give up the peace of mind and feeling of relief I gained by getting diagnosed (2 years ago.) Even so late in life, it has created in me a feeling of being at home in myself that I have never had, and I’m 66. So nuts to ’em all. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  5. and here (these things) we really are exactly the same.

    i dont even talk to anyone im related to anymore. they dont listen, they dont learn, and they (really, truly) dont care. heck, it would be like admitted all the crap they put me through (for nothing) and how royally they failed me. easier to pretend its my fault. thats “ok” though- theyre dead to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, why is that?? 👏🏼👏🏼. (I agree, btw 😉). Meaning, why the hell do so many family members do this? It kinda shoots a hole in the genetics theory, since I hear time and again (and I can relate!) how so many autistic people feel sort of sidelined by their families. (Not all, of course.). I’m lucky in that the people I care most about are quite supportive, or like it’s a nonissue. Especially my sister. She’s all “hmm, that’s cool”, and then sends me a bunch of awesome links about forward-thinking articles related to autism and autistic people, which told me just how awesomely accepting she is 🤗. My mom took a while to come around, mostly because she had her psychology training (a Masters) in the early-to-mid-’80s, back when autism was still married to “childhood schizophrenia”, whatever the F that is. My dad just said, “this…isn’t a bad thing, is it?”, in a rare moment of open mindedness, which is huge for him. I did notice that he stopped saying a bunch of the stuff listed above *after* he found out, though, which is also progress. Baby steps and shit 😉💙

      The rest of the extended family though? Elephant in the F-ing room, and they basically turned their backs to me–all but one. WTH? Meh, we weren’t too close to begin with, and I live 1200 miles away from them, but this just sort of clinched it 🤔🙄💖. I’m sorry that you can relate, bro 💞. I totally want to adopt you as a brother 🌺😎

      Liked by 3 people

      1. actually, im sure i will hear some kind of crap for this someday, but its very similar to the way that light-skinned parents are more racist against their dark-skinned kids than their light-skinned kids– and YES, that is a thing.

        two autistic kids, very high-functioning parents, the parents will always be like “why can you be more like your brother?” to the one that is more obviously autistic. now thats true of “puzzle-piece” parents, but ones that actually understand? maybe its quite different (i can think of one, possibly two examples. ❤ and thankfully i can think of any.)

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I totally see how that could easily be a thing 👏🏼👏🏼. I don’t doubt that it is, which is so extremely sad 😰. And yep, I despise the practice of comparing one sibling to another; everyone is different, parents (speaking *only* to those who would do such a thing)! Each kid should be free to stand on their own and be who they are. Each kid has their own merit/value/worth/significance/importance/etc, their own path, their own lives, etc. I know that the parents who read this blog ate awesomesauce and would never dream of doing this, so I know I’m preaching to the choir when I say this, but in case there are any others out there who do this, it had to be said because it is *so* damaging, both to the child getting the lecture *and* the sibling to whom they’re being compared. Not cool, not fair. I love your term “Puzzle Piece Parents”!! Can I steal it?? 🤗😎🙌🏼💖

          Liked by 1 person

          1. “I love your term ‘Puzzle Piece Parents’!! Can I steal it??”

            you can, but id recommend using it sparingly (as i would.) the reason is that although its (ALWAYS) tempting to point the finger at bad parents for supporting misguided causes– shaming them generally only makes them more defensive (and entrenches them further in a very stupid position.)

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Agreed 👍🏼. I’m definitely not out to drive a wedge. That might help me let off some steam when I might otherwise not feel like I’m able to, but in the end, it doesn’t really do much in the long run. Sure, it might help others who have found themselves in these types of situations and give them the sense that they’re not alone, but although there’s a sort of therapeutic value in it for me sometimes, that’s becoming less and less of an issue these days, and I’m seeing less and less of a reason to burden everybody with baggage that 1) is in the past, and 2) that those who read this blog have never done to me (and probably never did it to anyone), and thus why should they pay for someone else’s mistakes? These days, I’m much more interested in building a bridge for better understanding 💜💙

              Liked by 1 person

      2. and you are totally a sister already ❤ always. this thing youre writing about happens way often–

        AUTISM SPEAKS DESTROYS FAMILIES– if people dont learn more about autism FROM ACTUALLY AUTISTIC people, they will needlessly lose out on a more complete family. and they dont listen because "oh, its just in your head" or "oh, youre exaggerating." i love you, my lovely leper sister (i mean, you would think we were lepers…)

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Lol 😂😉😘. I love the way your mind works! “Lepers” – hilarious! Funny in a good way, of course!

          Yes, this a thousand times! A$ destroys families, destroys people, destroys lives! It’s a hate group, pure and simple. Dare I go so far as to call it a terrorist group?? I say something so bold because that’s pretty much what they do – feed and play on people’s fear, society’s vulnerabilities, spreading disinformation, dividing and conquering, perpetuating terror, shame, and coercion on autistic people, trying to brainwash them and their loved ones and caregivers and whatnot. It basically fits the definition of such a group. Omg I now have a seriously cool post idea for our next April!! Look out 2018! Lol 😉😁. You’re so right, my lovely Leper Brother 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💓💓💞

          Liked by 1 person

          1. “A$ destroys families, destroys people, destroys lives! It’s a hate group, pure and simple. Dare I go so far as to call it a…”

            no, i think we have to be careful with the word “propaganda” when “lies and self-serving” will do

            the other word is probably thrown around with too little care already, lets just call them “a bunch of lying assholes who are going to hurt people as much as they help anyone” for now. and you can always get into details– throwing words around that cause fear and confusion is their job, not ours.

            Liked by 2 people

              1. if youre going to write an entire post (rather than an offhand remark) that says a$ destroys families (which i do not doubt in the least, or i wouldnt have said it) id recommend researching it carefully and writing it in a very calm and somewhat intellectual fashion.

                you can make a remark based on just feelings, but if youre going to put an entire post together you might want to back it up with some facts and logic– im not saying that you havent done that before! just that its worth taking some extra care with that one.

                Liked by 1 person

          2. also when you write that post, remember its not a title fight– you dont have to knock them down in a single post.

            its better that all your “punches” be on the mark (and thus the fight be called a fair one) than to hit too far below the belt and lose points (or audience) on a technicality.

            Liked by 1 person

          3. The reason their (accursed) sh’tick works as well as it does is that the real (sales) pitch speaks to the (Normie) unconscious – much as if they (Normdom Shrieks) were selling the social equivalent of ***indulgences*** like the medieval catholic church! (Which is what your donations effectively ‘buy’ – by supporting this ‘colloquium of *shamans*, you and yours effectively avoid the ***curse*** of ‘der autismus’. Yes, using German is deliberate… stinking Volksgenossen and their totalitarian fungibilty!)

            Along with the sale of ‘indulgences’ – a magic(k)al practice – one also ‘gains rank’ over the non-donation mass of ‘lesser beings’ -and finally, by association with ‘the great’, one pushes ***us*** further toward that involuntary precipice- to, one day, be pushed over it- and out of Normdom’s (magic(k)ally-pure) sequestered world.

            Ultimately, that is what they are selling – the hope of a magically-pure world, where all that exists both knows its place and keeps that place in the great chain of being – and anything that does **not** do that exact thing is summarily destroyed.

            Just like Nazidom tried to do – and Nimrod succeded in doing.

            If the above sounds ‘a bit much’, then look up “Clotairre Rapaille” (spelling). He’s made quite a living expounding upon what really drives people’s thinking and behavior, and how the unconscious is important to ***advertising***.

            Liked by 2 people

            1. Oh wow! I love the way you connect different dots 😊. I will definitely look up the last element you mentioned, the researcher on what drives thought and behavior. I love learning about stuff like that! 😁. You might have also heard of Edward Bernays, but in case not, I’ll mention him here. He did something similar; and he was Sigmund Freud’s relative (!) (cousin or nephew or something) 😮. He’s considered the Father of PR, and his philosophy was to treat the American public like a heard of sheep. Looks like the vast majority of NTs fall for it, too, because advertising works, as ridiculous as it is 🤔. Great comment, my friend 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

              Like

  6. Yep – have heard every one, or a variation of! Have you heard the breastfeeding one? ‘Geordie must have Asperger’s because you didn’t breastfeed him.’ Nothing like a mother guilt trip!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omg seriously?? I think I have heard that one! How sad! And so thoroughly uninformed. I’m so sorry that the mom-blaming is still so rampant. Ugh. From refrigerator mothers to maternal diet during pregnancy to prescription drug use during pregnancy to vaccines to breastfeeding to environmental chemicals, etc. The list goes on and on, and somehow the common theme is that it must be the mom’s fault. I’m so, so sorry that happened/happens to you! 💐💐

      I have had barebones notes for a post along these lines brewing for a while now. And on behalf of my mom and all the other moms out there who keep getting guilted by ignorant people, I think I’m going to write it sometime soon 💞💞

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Do it Laina! I wrote a ranty post some time ago about the whole breastfeeding debacle – in response to an article a well-intentioned friend shared with me about some (very dodgy) research done on this very matter. It was shared as ‘wow – look at this’ rather than ‘oh – this is why’, but still hit a real nerve.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. So true, every word of it. “You must have it very mildly” is another version of your #1. And what does “high-functioning” mean other than “more able to pretend to be neurotypical”?
    Not that anyone has ever said any of these to me, because I’ve never said to anyone that I’m autistic (only to my sister IRL). Unfortunately, I’m prone to saying some of these to myself, and until I’ve properly refuted them or received some outside validation, I don’t feel able to completely claim the label for myself, still.
    Funnily enough, when I did tentatively mention it to my sister, she said “I can see a lot of the traits in our family, but you have the most of them and more intensely”, which chimes with your #2. And this summer the same sister told me that she now suspects she is on the spectrum herself…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, I think you’re absolutely right! 💙. What *does* “high” functioning mean, anyway? (I would like to ask those people who use those labels.). That just because I work or have a spouse that somehow I “pass” and blend in with the general population? What are the “standards” for “high” functioning? They don’t exactly clarify the “benchmarks”. Not that I would make an extra effort to meet them 😉. I’m really glad nobody’s ever said any of these things to you ❤️. I really like you and your sister! Sounds like awesomeness runs in your family 😁👍🏼

      Liked by 2 people

  8. To add to #1, I would suggest that autistic people do not want to be referred to “functioning at the level of” an age that is not their age. Also, autistic people want to be talked to, not talked at, or addressed to via a third person as if we are invisible, or can’t comprehend, or aren’t physically here.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Preach Sister!! I’d just like to add that sometimes those people who as the expression says, “Go Ghost” need to be gone. Sometimes when I tell people that my brother Stephen has Autism they ask me if he is like the character in the movie Rain Man. Over the years I’ve learned to either form some suitable response or just get up and walk away from that person. And Amen to the fact that vaccines do not cause Autism. My brother Stephen was born in 1961 way before vaccinations were the norm. We both got measles. I also had Chicken pox and Stephen had the Mumps. By this time we were both school age. There is no correlation between vaccines and Autism.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽. Thank you so much for sharing your story! It’s so utterly important that these stories are HEARD and shared because there’s still way too much misinformation (and disinformation) out there! You go, girl!! 💪🏽💚💙💜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Another thing to add about the folks who “Go Ghost.” Sometimes God/Universe removes folks from your life for a reason that is not always evident. It can be painful and seem like betrayal. Over the years I’ve learned the sometimes what we need that person cannot give us or if the relationship continued it might be more damaging than helpful. Then when they show their true selves I just say, Bye! Don’t let the door hit you where the dog shudda bit you!!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. You’re absolutely correct! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽. I’m totally with you 😁. I believe everything happens for a reason, including the cleansing of what may ultimately be unnecessary people. You’re right, too–it stings temporarily, but then you realize that they were just weighing you down. I love your final sentence!! I’m going to have to file that one in my memory banks; it’s probably going to come in handy 😉😘💖💪🏽☮💝

          Liked by 1 person

  10. Hey, dear one. 😘Been playing catch-up on my reading lately. Haven’t had the energy for much commenting but simply can’t pass this one up without a hearty well done! Relate to every bit. The only one I have had thrown at me that I have yet to see anyone else mention is this: “Let’s believe God will heal them.” ( In connection to my kids) 😡 But, that comes with the territory when you are raised in that sort of church atmosphere. 🙄 Anyway, thank you for articulating where I have struggled mightily lately. You’re the bestest! 💜💜💜☺💜💜

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Howdy sweetness! ❤️❤️. Oh wow, I hadn’t heard that one! I can only imagine that if I did, though, it would be *infuriating*! Thank you so much for your lovely comment! Soooo good to see you back on WP again, my lovely 😘😘💪🏼💚💙💓☮🌺💕🌺

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Yep. It was an interesting period in my life, to say the least. My folks are still somewhat entangled in that brand of church, sadly. Makes for a whole area of conversation to avoid. lol. And thanks. I figure I can’t stay away entirely. Reading and interacting on here with you lovely folks is such a lifeline to me. 😊💜💟

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I could replace ASD with ADD or EFD and everything would still apply — except for the most important point here, IMHO, where public health is concerned: #4″

    NO link between those essential VACCINATIONS and autism – millions of research dollars *proving* that one – but they don’t have the marketing budget of the anti-vaccers..

    I can be fairly patient and forgiving with “civilians” – but when I hear nonsense out of the mouths of *supposed” professionals (including touted educators like Sir Ken Robinson) I practically go postal.

    I’ve written a few snarky piece about it on my blog too, on a few days when I REALLY wanted to smack some sense into a bunch of folks instead. When you have some time, check out one of my snarkiest – I’m sure you’ll love it. [Top 10 Things NOT to Say (if you want to stay alive)]. Scroll down for my list – the first part is context. IN FACT, I’m gonna’ edit it to link back here!
    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
    ADD/EFD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
    “It takes a village to transform a world!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You are awesome! Yes, *this* – everything you said!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. The anti-vax community – *sigh*. Sure, there is a risk of harm–that’s true of any medical procedure–but true Asperger’s/autism is *not* one of the risks! But I’ve written about that before, so I won’t bore everyone with it here. The vaccine-autism “link” is indeed nonsense. I face a lot of that crap in my field, too – colleagues are still touting therapies for autism! (No, guys, it doesn’t work like that. That’s not even what autism actually is!)

      I’m totally going to comb through your blog again and bookmark those posts 😁. Thank you so much for linking!! 💟💟

      (Would you like me to post a link here in these comments to the little diatribe I wrote about vaccines and autism, for the purpose of convenience so that if you’re interested, you don’t have to dig through the archives? I’m more than happy to!) 😊💜💜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ABSOLUTELY YES on the vaccine links!!

        I was recently energized on the topic when I re-listened to a podcast interview by an emergency room doc with a medical researcher who developed one of the vaccines that wiped out a disease that used to kill A LOT of children.

        Even tho’ the news hasn’t changed about vaccine safety, and the post is a few years old, I am planning to share a link to it (as well as a bit of transcription) in an upcoming post about what happens when we do NOT vaccinate — since not-my-president is stirring the anti-vax pot again.

        I will link to yours when I get it ready to post. THANKS!

        btw- easiest way to find old posts by topic is through my LinkLists – center of my top menu – bottom of the lighter “bar”. Click the Master first – then you’ll see the topics.
        xx,
        mgh

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oh cool! I totally can’t wait to read your post(s) 😁 I know what you mean about longtime post plans that take a while to germinate; I’ve got the same phenomenon going on lol 😉

          My vaccine post is loooong, but I linked to a lot of research and other websites to make the point(s), which I really felt had to be made. I hope it resonates with you 💗💗

          Here’s the link: https://thesilentwaveblog.wordpress.com/2017/01/15/vaccines-do-not-cause-autism-heres-why/

          ❣❣

          Like

  13. I had one person try to tell me I when I said autism is a disability, that I was to intelligent to have a disability and that they hated the fact I used that term because it wasn’t something that could be seen like someone with Downs Syndrome

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my 😳💞. WTH? There are days when I feel its advantages, and there are days when I feel its disabling limitations. I think the general population is sort of stuck in the Mental/Physical Disability paradigm. Autism itself is neither of those; *but* I would like to introduce a new term and definition (at least it’s new as far as I know): Social Disability, meaning a difficulty in social interaction and communication, at least when measured by NT perspective, since they make up the vast majority and they’re the ones most people spend the lion’s share of their time interacting with. And given how important social interaction seems to be for most people, a Social Disability would (or should) definitely qualify as legit. At least in my idealistic world 😉💖💖

      Like

  14. I can surely relate. Having a chronic illness I can hear some amazingly stupid remarks. It is amazing how people can be so ignorant and even mean. Thankfully I have met many nice people also. I sometimes wonder how understanding I would be if I had never suffered the many ailments I have in life. I dare not think too much about it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amen, Sister 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. I’m amazed by how many people think certain things are “just an excuse” or whatever. 😳😡🙄💞. Until they go through something like that themselves, that is! Not that I would wish anything on anyone, but it’s interesting how life sometimes dishes up a serving of Humble Pie. Again, not my place to say anything, and I’m truly sorry that those people learn the hard way instead of the easy way, but Stuff Happens. It does help spread awareness about these chronic issues or differences. I think ignorance is the norm, the default setting, but yeah, there’s no excuse to be mean, and we’ve all heard the “ass-u-me” thing about assumptions 😉😘❤️💖

      Like

  15. Hi, Laina! Wonderful essay. People often have inappropriate responses to many situations and illnesses (you should hear what they say to cancer patients :). Often the felt need to “say something” results in exactly the sort of statements you cited above. Your “social disability” term above is very apt, too. I’m so glad to know about your blog! Keep writing!

    Liked by 2 people

Please feel free to add your thoughts!

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s