Today was another day in which I felt inspired to “rewrite” my own “lyrics” to an existing song. I’ve been working a lot, including most of the day today, and yet, an obscure little song whispered out to me, first nibbling around the edges, then growing more incessantly, until I got home this afternoon, at which point it consumed my core.
Today’s “lyrics” stem from the concept of my Asperger’s/autism and the ever-present reality of Overwhelm. It’s a near-daily “adventure” (read: battle), especially when my energy supply has largely been depleted at work, I come home to a hollering elderly semi-senile kitty (whom I love dearly and am thoroughly dedicated to, but whose reality includes literally 15-18 feedings in a 24-hour period and a very mouthy nature), then not having quite enough time to recharge on the couch before my partner gets home and begins his usual banging around the apartment….
….Yeah, the song itself (which is a haunting, folksy, bluesy, dreamy “goth country/Americana” tune called “A Stranger and His Wife” (ad-free video on YouTube) by Alexis Smith & Joe Henson), coupled with the actual lyrics of the song, coupled (again) with my “lyric rewrite”… pretty captures my desire to hide away from the world, followed by the larger realization that often, I don’t feel like I even fit anywhere in it… This particular piece was written 10-15 minutes ago. I did have fun writing it. ๐
My world sometimes is semi-surreal
Floating in my thoughts and
Iโm not sure how to hold hands
Always unsure of how I feel
I speak in a language
That no one can understand
Except for me
Some days are bright and some are gloom
I just feign indifference
And mirror what I see as I look around
Hide away up in my room
Away from all the people
Who talk and yell and come around
Too close to me
Iโm never sure just what to say
What so naturally comes to them
Remains an eternal mystery
Iโd like to think I made your day
But what would I do then
Itโs not like Iโm making history
Itโs just whatโs inside of me
Iโm not cut out for this earth
My day and night are my own
And I never fit my name
One day Iโll be one with dirt
Life and death are overblown
But the world is never quite the same
Just let me be
Now hanging out in peace and quiet
Nobodyโs around me
Life is but a dream
Maybe someday Iโll join the riot
But for now silence surrounds me
Though nothingโs what it seems
Inside of/except for me
Written Tue 2.13.2018 ~17.45-18.00
***
This is one of my more popular posts!
***
(Image Credit: Josephine Wall)
โค
โค
โค
Geez, youre pretty amazing. The art work is dazzling and grabs my attention, and I’m smitten with your lyrics.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Awww, Elaine, thank you, luv! ๐. I’m smitten with your encouraging words ๐โค๏ธ. (Honestly, I really really appreciate them ๐๐ผ๐๐. I bleed out something and post it, and I’m never quite sure how it’ll be received, so I’m *really happy* that you liked it!) ๐๐บ
LikeLiked by 3 people
This is powerful, some great rhythm in these lines too. Do relate to a lot of what you describe here.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Oh wow, thank you! ๐. I’m really happy you enjoyed it, and comforted by the idea that I’m not alone ๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is brilliant!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Awwww! Wow! Major blush action, especially coming from you, my dear friend ๐๐๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awww, but of course!
LikeLiked by 1 person
๐๐. You know just how to make a girl feel good ๐๐
LikeLike
I’m so glad you do. ๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, my lovely ๐โค๏ธ. Howz things, anyway? ๐๐
LikeLike
Just beautiful, actually…
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s awesome to hear, my friend ๐๐๐ผ๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
โค
LikeLiked by 1 person
๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
You have the Gift to describe your inside.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you very much! Wow…that means a lot to me ๐๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
The song and the accompanying film were satisfying to hear and see.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Isn’t it an amazing song?? ๐โค๏ธ
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is. I loved it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me too ๐. Instantly! ๐๐
LikeLike
Thank you for this poem, Laina. You help me understand my son better, his fit in this world has never been good. Hard to know how to help him now as an adult, as much as when he was small. Expression has never been his strong suit (except maybe frustration and anger). Your posts shed a bit of light on how he might view the world. Blessings!
LikeLike
Thank you so much Eliza! I’m really happy to be of help ๐ Yes, it can be confusing sometimes! I imagine for both sides. Blessings to you! ๐ โค
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am special just like you
I can take the things I do
And learn from them the best I can
Make a difference with who I am
You might be slow and I might be fast
We donโt need to measure who is first or last
Sometimes when you speak
Iโm not sure what you say
If youโre sad or youโre hurt
I might not hear it that way
I like it when things are always the same
Like my food and toys and my video games
Sometimes when we talk I donโt look in your eyes
I might just forget so donโt be surprised
If I donโt speak at all letโs try to wait
There are other ways we can communicate
Things donโt look the same to you and me
Where I see a forest you see a tree
I hear the wind blowing strong in the sky
You hear a breeze as it softly goes by
My smell and my taste are different than yours
So many choices thank goodness of course
Thereโs really a lot to say about touch
Sometimes even my clothes feel too much
If I think the light is shining too bright
Or even if the noise isnโt right
I can do better when you think that I can
Remember to show me and show me again
I know that you love me so love me through this
I do my best and donโt need to be fixed
Help me and teach me itโs simple as that
I need you I love you matter of fact
If I canโt tell you exactly how I feel
Or act out in a way that seems unreal
Youโre everything I count on every day
Do accept me and cherish my own special way.
LikeLiked by 3 people
This is amazing!! The total bomb, girl ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ๐๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
I loved it too. Hugs.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hugs to you too, luv! ๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh that feels so good. ๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yours feel wonderful to me, too ๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mmmmmm
LikeLiked by 1 person
๐ค๐๐
LikeLike
Reblogged this on reachingoutforfreedom and commented:
Beautifully written
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much for sharing, Mummy! ๐๐
LikeLike
Its certainly an interesting new take on an old theme!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you! I had fun with it ๐๐ท
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awesome sister! Nothing but respect! You are an inspiration!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much, my friend! ๐๐๐
LikeLike
Awww thank you, Guy! ๐๐คโค๏ธ
LikeLike
Hey Laina,
As per email – please see link ๐
Rory
https://aguycalledbloke.blog/2018/02/14/the-versatile-blogger-award-nomination/
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, my brother! So much appreciated ๐. Going to get going on these as soon as I can conjure up something coherent ๐๐๐๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pleasure Laina, as always – keep on doing what you do ๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you thank you! I will ๐. You too! ๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know you will ๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
๐๐. I’m embarrassed about how many I’ve been nominated for but haven’t done yet. I’m probably going to catch up on a bunch from the past 12 months rolling in a couple posts and thank several at once ๐โค๏ธ. I really really appreciate the nominations! So honored and humbled ๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have another Liebster nomination to attend to shortly. They can take so much time, l would shudder if l had loads to sort out all at once, my Aspie brain would melt down lol! Hence l tackle them one at a time ๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hehe I know the feeling ๐. The nominations I’ve got fit into just a few categories, so I’ll be able to do several at once lol ๐. Otherwise I’d probably shudder, too ๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Maybe someday Iโll join the riot
But for now silence surrounds me”
I know how you feel…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! ๐. I understand you completely ๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi. Don’t let the world get you down. You have beautiful art work. Take care.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much, my lovely! ๐โค๏ธ. I really appreciate your encouraging words! To put y’all at ease (for those who are wondering), I’m OK ๐. Feeling pretty neutral, just sort of observing from afar, calling the world as I see it at the moment. But it does sound sort of melancholy, doesn’t it? ๐๐๐
LikeLike
Did they tell you that you are awesome? If not, you are amazing!!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Awww! Thank you so kindly, my friend! ๐. The feeling is very mutual ๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
My absolute pleasure, stay awesome
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, dear brother! Likewise! The feeling is mutual ๐๐โค๏ธ๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
Poetry is healing! Fantastic poem.. I hope you write more.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much, my lovely! I’m really excited that you enjoyed it! ๐๐. In case you haven’t seen it yet, and you’d like to read more, I’ve got a little section of creative writing on this blog, as well as my Maidenlion blog ๐. (https://maidenlion.wordpress.com), if you’re interested ๐. And oh yes, I will write more ๐. Thank you for your kind words! ๐๐บ
LikeLike
‘Sup, little sister? I feel like something is up with you, but I’m not positive. Are you doing alright? I’ll wait for you to answer. I know it can be a hard question sometimes, so answer when you’re able. Love you. Mwah! ๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi my dear Wiser Sister! ๐๐. Omg how did you *know*?? Seriously, your timing is eerily perfect โค๏ธ๐คโค๏ธ. I was doing ok until yesterday and today, when some old shizz from my past came up out of the dungeons. Help! I need Stevie Nicks, Evanescence, and Harry Potter and Friends, stat! ๐๐โค๏ธ. I’m probably going to end up writing about it. It comes and goes in waves, and at the moment, I’m ok, although it’s shaky, so I don’t know about tomorrow ๐๐. I can laugh now. I cried earlier, which I think was fairly healing. I might have a long road ahead; I’ll share everything I can, as I can make sense of it ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
And, Thank You, Wiser Sister! Both of those terms are so appropriate for you ๐๐๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
Imagine my arms hugging with the proper level of squeeze to remind you youโre not alone, or too little anymore. You have a big sister who will fight with you now. ๐๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awww!! Girl that feels so good, too good to describe with words! ๐๐๐. Mwah!!! ๐ค๐๐๐ผ. Big love to you ๐บ๐๐บ
LikeLiked by 1 person
(And of course, the feeling is very mutual!! Any time, I mean it, and I promise!) ๐๐๐
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amazing work dear โบ๏ธโบ๏ธ Love this! Have a nice day x x
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you bunches! I’m really glad you liked it ๐ I hope you have/had a lovely day, too! โค
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your most welcome dear ๐๐ I have, thank you x x
LikeLiked by 1 person
๐๐โค๏ธ
LikeLike
i dont know what to say. I speak in a language no one can understand, wow. We are so oftentimes misunderstood and discounted by people who judge us. That is interpration of that line. Whatever you meany, i love it
LikeLiked by 1 person
edited i dont know what to say. I speak in a language no one can understand, wow. We are often times misunderstood and discounted by people who judge us. That is my interpretation of that line. Whatever you meant, i love it
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know that feeling, dear one! OMG yes, the misunderstanding and discounting. I’ve often felt second-guessed, disregarded, ignored, unheard. Gah! I’m realizing just how abused I’ve been (and I don’t use that word lightly), and I’m probably going to write a post about some of my experiences in a bit more detail here in the near future.
Anyway, I’m really, really happy that it resonated with you! ๐ Thank you so much for your kind words. โค
LikeLike
Beautiful lyrics. โค๏ธ
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Aspen ๐ โค
LikeLike
Fine words. Keep up the good work
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, friend! ๐๐
LikeLike
I’d never heard of goth country before so was super intrigued. I loved the song and the lyrics you wrote. ๐น
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much! ๐. Hehe you’re not alone; it’s a tiny niche genre that few are aware of, because it hardly gets any radio attention, and concerts are usually very localized to the band’s home region ๐บ. I’m so happy that you like it!! ๐โค๏ธ
LikeLike
I am in love with this piece itโs so natural โค๏ธ
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, dear! ๐โค๏ธ
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awww thank you so much for linking! ๐โค๏ธ
LikeLiked by 1 person
wonderful words, you are not cut out of this world, but a huge lovely part of it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awww, thank you so much for your kind words! The feeling is mutual, my lovely ๐
LikeLike
Thanks for sharing. This really resonates with me.
LikeLike