(I wrote this in the summer of 1995, while listening to the soothing contemporary sounds of Canadian artist Mae More; she had just released her “Dragonflies” album and I was enamored at first listen, particularly the song “Watermark” (audio-only via MySpace, or another (better) audio-only source; just click on “listen” in the right column), which occurred when I was walking with my sister through a Calgarian mall, of all places. Right there, amongst the walkways of Chinook Centre, came the sketches of what would develop into the following…PS: I was 17 then)
Another place, another time
Another face I can call mine
Another life I leave behind
Another future I hope to find
If I lose myself in yesterday
There’s no hope for change
I’ll keep killing off todays
Remaining out of range
Maybe someone will find me and care enough
To bring me back to reality and
Surround me with love
I don’t think I can live through
Another face, but if I
Believe long enough, it’ll happen anyway, I
Think there’s a place
Frozen in time
Every time I change I die
I live I leave behind
So much I’m selves apart
I won’t stick myself
I’m letting go
No more endless memories
No more living in what was
It becomes a chronic virus
See it for what it is and what it does
If I live through another face, I
Don’t know if I’ll still know you
I’ve changed in so many ways, and
There’s so much I want to tell you
But I can’t seem to find the words
You know how it goes
I don’t know if I can live through
Another life like this where
I put myself through so much and
I don’t even care; I’m
Too wrapped up in my starry ever-wonder mind
To capture an experience–the beauty of life
(July 1995)
(Spot the Aspie/autistic teenaged girl, right? “Another face” referred then–and still refers now–to creating a new persona, and I must have had an inkling, at least on some level, even back then, how much energy it did and what I had to sacrifice in order to do that. But hopefully readers can detect the glimmer of hope and excitement at the possibilities that await such a foundational transformation.) 🙂
***
(Image Credit: Carne Griffiths)
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Yes. Love it.
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Thank you so much, my dear friend! 😊❤️❤️
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I love this!
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Thank you so much, my lovely! 😘😘. I’m bunches of happy 💗💗💗
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Great poem but sorry for the sadness behind it 😔
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Thank you dear! Yeah it was definitely bittersweetness back then. You’re spot-on, fueled by sadness and pain 💜. I looked forward to reinventing myself, but I didn’t like the reasons for having to do it. I wanted to see who I could become and how believably I could pull it off, but the fact that I felt I had to do it at all was in itself the sign of a pretty pathological society 🌺🌺
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I think the biology.behind what we’ve evolved into is miraculous, the goals we’ve reached as a species and structures we’ve built etc impressive, vast, beautiful…..but we really can be dicks.
For a species of creature so capable of beauty and full if imagination we really can be ugly in our thinking and blinkered in our dreams…..and I’m sorry that many of our colleagues, friends, loved ones are often left behind, isolated, forgotten or excluded as a consequence.
😔
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Right on, my friend! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. I’ve always perceived the world as a giant yin yang; capable of such miracles and such tragedy, all at the same time ❤️💔☯💕
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Lovely 🙂
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Thank you, dear one! 💙💚
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Stunning poem. What a talent for self expression. ❤
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Thank you very much for your encouraging words, my lovely 😘❤️🌺
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Breathtaking words so well articulated, Laina. The world for sure is full of miracles as well as tragedy cause she can take care of all this and us too. Lovely.
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Aww thank you so much, friend 😘❤️❤️
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Welcome friend
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😘💗
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Thanks
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Reblogged this on American Badass Activists.
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Thank you very much for sharing, dear one! 💜💜
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This is beautiful and tragic all at once. So raw…Thanks for sharing.
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You nailed it, my friend 🌺. That’s exactly how I see the world, and often feel toward it 😊. Thank you so much for your kind words 💚💙
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Wow. A lot of depth there, dear one. I love reading your perspective from those days. 😘It’s fascinating. Makes me wish I had saved my earlier work ( I had sheets and sheets of poetry in my teens and twenties, but a tendency to get disgusted with myself and periodically throw them away. 🙄)
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Awww 😘💐💞. I love your work! It’s stunning 😘🌺. Everything happens for a reason, though, my lovely 💖. Maybe it was therapeutic to let it go? That inner critic is mouthy sometimes, isn’t it? 😊💜💙
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Aww, thank you! 😊Hmm, I never of it that way! Perhaps it was therapeutic in a sense of ridding myself of some hard stuff in my life. Those were some really rough times I’m grateful to have behind me. ☺
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Oh, and, yes about that inner critic! Mine’s a doozy. lol
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Lol yes! Mine never leaves me alone. She’s incessant. She’s gotten gentler over the years, but she could be a real hard-ass sometimes LOL. Yours too? 🙂 ❤
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You’re so welcome, dear one! Ugh, yes, amen to being relieved to be done with tough times! So happy that your creativity has been a self-therapy of sorts. I really do believe there’s something to that! Probably better than a mediocre therapist, even! 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤
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I can really relate to this. My family moved on an average of every 2 years when I was a kid, and every time I felt like I had to reinvent myself. Even in adulthood, I feel that pressure, but where it was once an opportunity, now it feels exhausting.
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Yes! 👏👏👏. Agreed 💞💞
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It’s interesting because when I read this I read it completely different than how I believe you meant it to be for yourself, and how others interpreted it after reading these comments. It’s amazing how we can all have different perspectives on ones writing, seeing it through our own eyes. Amazing work as always. Nothing but love.
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Oh cool! ❤️. I’m curious to know more about your thoughts! 😊👍🏼💗
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I can’t really put it in words how I read it the first time, but if I could I would love to share. But now that I’m reading it over again, how I read it before doesn’t seem to be making as much sense now. 😛 lol
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I gotcha 🙂 I get that sometimes too lol ❤
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You’re a lovely poetess. 🦋
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Thank you so much, my darling! ❤ As are you! ❤ Xxx
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You’re so welcome! Love! 💜💜💜
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Xxxx ❤ ❤
(I'm on a desktop computer today lol – forgot my phone at home so my emoji capabilities are reduced and probably rather…redundant LOL) 😉 😉 ❤
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These words are really wonderful. Truth be told miracles do happen.
Peace
Loveistheanswer2017
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Thank you, friend 💓
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Reblogged this on Die Erste Eslarner Zeitung – Aus und über Eslarn, sowie die bayerisch-tschechische Region!.
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Thank you very much for the reblog, dear friend! 😘❤️❤️
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Powerful and worthwhiie poetry my friend. A outstanding poem.
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You are so kind, brother! Thank you 💙💜
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Was my honor and you are welcome.
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😘😘❤️❤️
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Reblogged this on johncoyote and commented:
Please read and enjoy the work of a talented writer.
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Thank you so much for sharing 😘❤️
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Reblogged this on Creative Writing Reblogged.
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powerful!
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Thanks girl 😘😘💖✨💖
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Another future I hope to find.
I’ve got nth to add.
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😊👍🏼❣❣
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