Today was another day in which I felt inspired to “rewrite” my own “lyrics” to an existing song. I’ve been working a lot, including most of the day today, and yet, an obscure little song whispered out to me, first nibbling around the edges, then growing more incessantly, until I got home this afternoon, at which point it consumed my core.
Today’s “lyrics” stem from the concept of my Asperger’s/autism and the ever-present reality of Overwhelm. It’s a near-daily “adventure” (read: battle), especially when my energy supply has largely been depleted at work, I come home to a hollering elderly semi-senile kitty (whom I love dearly and am thoroughly dedicated to, but whose reality includes literally 15-18 feedings in a 24-hour period and a very mouthy nature), then not having quite enough time to recharge on the couch before my partner gets home and begins his usual banging around the apartment….
….Yeah, the song itself (which is a haunting, folksy, bluesy, dreamy “goth country/Americana” tune called “A Stranger and His Wife” (ad-free video on YouTube) by Alexis Smith & Joe Henson), coupled with the actual lyrics of the song, coupled (again) with my “lyric rewrite”… pretty captures my desire to hide away from the world, followed by the larger realization that often, I don’t feel like I even fit anywhere in it… This particular piece was written 10-15 minutes ago. I did have fun writing it. 🙂
My world sometimes is semi-surreal
Floating in my thoughts and
I’m not sure how to hold hands
Always unsure of how I feel
I speak in a language
That no one can understand
Except for me
Some days are bright and some are gloom
I just feign indifference
And mirror what I see as I look around
Hide away up in my room
Away from all the people
Who talk and yell and come around
Too close to me
I’m never sure just what to say
What so naturally comes to them
Remains an eternal mystery
I’d like to think I made your day
But what would I do then
It’s not like I’m making history
It’s just what’s inside of me
I’m not cut out for this earth
My day and night are my own
And I never fit my name
One day I’ll be one with dirt
Life and death are overblown
But the world is never quite the same
Just let me be
Now hanging out in peace and quiet
Nobody’s around me
Life is but a dream
Maybe someday I’ll join the riot
But for now silence surrounds me
Though nothing’s what it seems
Inside of/except for me
Written Tue 2.13.2018 ~17.45-18.00
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This is one of my more popular posts!
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(Image Credit: Josephine Wall)
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Geez, youre pretty amazing. The art work is dazzling and grabs my attention, and I’m smitten with your lyrics.
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Awww, Elaine, thank you, luv! 😘. I’m smitten with your encouraging words 😊❤️. (Honestly, I really really appreciate them 👍🏼💙💜. I bleed out something and post it, and I’m never quite sure how it’ll be received, so I’m *really happy* that you liked it!) 😘🌺
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This is powerful, some great rhythm in these lines too. Do relate to a lot of what you describe here.
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Oh wow, thank you! 😍. I’m really happy you enjoyed it, and comforted by the idea that I’m not alone 💞💞
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This is brilliant!
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Awwww! Wow! Major blush action, especially coming from you, my dear friend 😘😍💞💗
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Awww, but of course!
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😘😘. You know just how to make a girl feel good 💕💗
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I’m so glad you do. 😊
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Thank you, my lovely 😘❤️. Howz things, anyway? 💚💙
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Just beautiful, actually…
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That’s awesome to hear, my friend 😘👏🏼💖
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❤
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😘💗
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🙂
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You have the Gift to describe your inside.
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Thank you very much! Wow…that means a lot to me 😊💗💜
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The song and the accompanying film were satisfying to hear and see.
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Isn’t it an amazing song?? 😊❤️
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It is. I loved it.
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Me too 😁. Instantly! 💙💜
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Thank you for this poem, Laina. You help me understand my son better, his fit in this world has never been good. Hard to know how to help him now as an adult, as much as when he was small. Expression has never been his strong suit (except maybe frustration and anger). Your posts shed a bit of light on how he might view the world. Blessings!
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Thank you so much Eliza! I’m really happy to be of help 🙂 Yes, it can be confusing sometimes! I imagine for both sides. Blessings to you! 😀 ❤
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I am special just like you
I can take the things I do
And learn from them the best I can
Make a difference with who I am
You might be slow and I might be fast
We don’t need to measure who is first or last
Sometimes when you speak
I’m not sure what you say
If you’re sad or you’re hurt
I might not hear it that way
I like it when things are always the same
Like my food and toys and my video games
Sometimes when we talk I don’t look in your eyes
I might just forget so don’t be surprised
If I don’t speak at all let’s try to wait
There are other ways we can communicate
Things don’t look the same to you and me
Where I see a forest you see a tree
I hear the wind blowing strong in the sky
You hear a breeze as it softly goes by
My smell and my taste are different than yours
So many choices thank goodness of course
There’s really a lot to say about touch
Sometimes even my clothes feel too much
If I think the light is shining too bright
Or even if the noise isn’t right
I can do better when you think that I can
Remember to show me and show me again
I know that you love me so love me through this
I do my best and don’t need to be fixed
Help me and teach me it’s simple as that
I need you I love you matter of fact
If I can’t tell you exactly how I feel
Or act out in a way that seems unreal
You’re everything I count on every day
Do accept me and cherish my own special way.
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This is amazing!! The total bomb, girl 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼😘💖🌟
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I loved it too. Hugs.
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Hugs to you too, luv! 😍💗
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Oh that feels so good. 🙂
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Yours feel wonderful to me, too 😘💓
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Mmmmmm
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🤗💖🌟
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Reblogged this on reachingoutforfreedom and commented:
Beautifully written
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Thank you so much for sharing, Mummy! 😊💜
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Its certainly an interesting new take on an old theme!
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Thank you! I had fun with it 😁🌷
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Awesome sister! Nothing but respect! You are an inspiration!
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Thank you so much, my friend! 😊💕💕
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Awww thank you, Guy! 😘🤗❤️
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Hey Laina,
As per email – please see link 🙂
Rory
https://aguycalledbloke.blog/2018/02/14/the-versatile-blogger-award-nomination/
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Thank you so much, my brother! So much appreciated 😘. Going to get going on these as soon as I can conjure up something coherent 😁😉😁💗💗
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Pleasure Laina, as always – keep on doing what you do 🙂
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Thank you thank you! I will 😁. You too! 💜💙
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I know you will 🙂
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😘😘. I’m embarrassed about how many I’ve been nominated for but haven’t done yet. I’m probably going to catch up on a bunch from the past 12 months rolling in a couple posts and thank several at once 😘❤️. I really really appreciate the nominations! So honored and humbled 💚💙
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🙂
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I have another Liebster nomination to attend to shortly. They can take so much time, l would shudder if l had loads to sort out all at once, my Aspie brain would melt down lol! Hence l tackle them one at a time 🙂
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Hehe I know the feeling 😊. The nominations I’ve got fit into just a few categories, so I’ll be able to do several at once lol 😊. Otherwise I’d probably shudder, too 😄💗
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“Maybe someday I’ll join the riot
But for now silence surrounds me”
I know how you feel…
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Thank you! 😘. I understand you completely 💗💗
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Hi. Don’t let the world get you down. You have beautiful art work. Take care.
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Thank you so much, my lovely! 😘❤️. I really appreciate your encouraging words! To put y’all at ease (for those who are wondering), I’m OK 😊. Feeling pretty neutral, just sort of observing from afar, calling the world as I see it at the moment. But it does sound sort of melancholy, doesn’t it? 😘💕💕
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Did they tell you that you are awesome? If not, you are amazing!!!
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Awww! Thank you so kindly, my friend! 😘. The feeling is very mutual 💗💗
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My absolute pleasure, stay awesome
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Thank you, dear brother! Likewise! The feeling is mutual 😘😍❤️💟
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Poetry is healing! Fantastic poem.. I hope you write more.
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Thank you so much, my lovely! I’m really excited that you enjoyed it! 😘😘. In case you haven’t seen it yet, and you’d like to read more, I’ve got a little section of creative writing on this blog, as well as my Maidenlion blog 😁. (https://maidenlion.wordpress.com), if you’re interested 💞. And oh yes, I will write more 😉. Thank you for your kind words! 💖🌺
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‘Sup, little sister? I feel like something is up with you, but I’m not positive. Are you doing alright? I’ll wait for you to answer. I know it can be a hard question sometimes, so answer when you’re able. Love you. Mwah! 💜💜
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Hi my dear Wiser Sister! 😘😘. Omg how did you *know*?? Seriously, your timing is eerily perfect ❤️🤗❤️. I was doing ok until yesterday and today, when some old shizz from my past came up out of the dungeons. Help! I need Stevie Nicks, Evanescence, and Harry Potter and Friends, stat! 😁😘❤️. I’m probably going to end up writing about it. It comes and goes in waves, and at the moment, I’m ok, although it’s shaky, so I don’t know about tomorrow 😂💖. I can laugh now. I cried earlier, which I think was fairly healing. I might have a long road ahead; I’ll share everything I can, as I can make sense of it 😘💚💙💜🙌😍💟💞
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And, Thank You, Wiser Sister! Both of those terms are so appropriate for you 😘🙌🙌💓
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Imagine my arms hugging with the proper level of squeeze to remind you you’re not alone, or too little anymore. You have a big sister who will fight with you now. 💜💜💜
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Awww!! Girl that feels so good, too good to describe with words! 😘😘💗. Mwah!!! 🤗🙌👏🏼. Big love to you 🌺💚🌺
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(And of course, the feeling is very mutual!! Any time, I mean it, and I promise!) 😍💟💜
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Amazing work dear ☺️☺️ Love this! Have a nice day x x
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Thank you bunches! I’m really glad you liked it 😀 I hope you have/had a lovely day, too! ❤
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Your most welcome dear 🙂🙂 I have, thank you x x
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😊😘❤️
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i dont know what to say. I speak in a language no one can understand, wow. We are so oftentimes misunderstood and discounted by people who judge us. That is interpration of that line. Whatever you meany, i love it
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edited i dont know what to say. I speak in a language no one can understand, wow. We are often times misunderstood and discounted by people who judge us. That is my interpretation of that line. Whatever you meant, i love it
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I know that feeling, dear one! OMG yes, the misunderstanding and discounting. I’ve often felt second-guessed, disregarded, ignored, unheard. Gah! I’m realizing just how abused I’ve been (and I don’t use that word lightly), and I’m probably going to write a post about some of my experiences in a bit more detail here in the near future.
Anyway, I’m really, really happy that it resonated with you! 😀 Thank you so much for your kind words. ❤
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Beautiful lyrics. ❤️
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Thank you Aspen 🙂 ❤
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Fine words. Keep up the good work
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Thank you, friend! 😊😊
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I’d never heard of goth country before so was super intrigued. I loved the song and the lyrics you wrote. 🌹
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Thank you so much! 😊. Hehe you’re not alone; it’s a tiny niche genre that few are aware of, because it hardly gets any radio attention, and concerts are usually very localized to the band’s home region 🌺. I’m so happy that you like it!! 😁❤️
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I am in love with this piece it’s so natural ❤️
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Thank you so much, dear! 😊❤️
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Awww thank you so much for linking! 😘❤️
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wonderful words, you are not cut out of this world, but a huge lovely part of it.
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Awww, thank you so much for your kind words! The feeling is mutual, my lovely 💗
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Thanks for sharing. This really resonates with me.
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