Sharing: Mixed Messages

This.  This whole post.  I didn’t belong, either.  I wasn’t wanted anywhere.  I may not be a pro at reading body language, but I could read enough to know that I wasn’t normal, and I wasn’t included.  Rejection hurts.  Feeling odd, when you’re only being you, hurts too.  I can very much relate to this whole piece.   Absolutely brilliant!! πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌβ€οΈ

Eclectic Autistic

When I was young, I received constant messages that I didn’t belong. I was weird, and I said things others didn’t understand, largely because I was making intuitive leaps that they couldn’t follow, or because I was working off of detailed information they didn’t have. I didn’t grasp that at the time, of course. I mean, I was a little kid and they were grownups β€” of course grownups would know more than I did! But when it came to my interests, they often didn’t. They weren’t the ones spending long afternoons reading the encyclopedia, after all.

Perhaps because of things like this, I also began receiving messages that I was gifted. I was praised for being very smart, and for picking things up faster than other kids did. I was admonished for getting impatient with other people, and told that not everyone could learn as quickly as I did…

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10 Comments

  1. you will probably always overreact to these things sometimes. i really mean it about sometimes– mostly i dont think youre overreacting.

    the point is that if you dont “check” this, there will be times you abandon friends because you perceived they were “doing it again,” and some of them were! i know what you mean. im also very quick to walk away from where im not wanted, even though sometimes i am.

    thats my message to you, then. yes, everything youre saying is real and should be acknowledged and to be honest, you deserve so much more acceptance and understanding than youll probably ever have.

    just dont be too quick every time. hand out some second chances when you think youre all out of stock. give the benefit of the doubt occasionally, even when you know youre right. you may find it saves a few precious relationships.

    its the other side of what youre talking about, but it doesnt negate anything youve said. also: ❀ p.s. its certainly not easy, its a pain and its annoying sometimes, to be stuck in your shoes. and yeah, it hurts– just because people think theyre avoiding something perceived to be a lot worse than it is, or someone else will be there instead. people have to let go of those assumptions, theyre just not true enough– too many people are making them too often.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear you, Maria ❀️. I was that way, too 😊. These are very legitimate concerns! The good news is, 1) your daughter is perfect the way she is – meaning, she is exactly who she’s supposed to be πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ’œ, and 2) the world is opening up, slowly but surely, and becoming more accepting and diverse at a much faster rate than when we were young 😁. I think this could spell good things for her, especially in the future. Her life may be a lot easier than the autistic people of our generation had/have it πŸ‘πŸΌ. Of course, I could be wrong. I should mention that there may be elements of her life that may always be difficult, simply because of her intelligence. I won’t give numbers 😊 but I can say that being on the right hand side of the bell curve can be very lonely at times, and there’s always the probability of being misunderstood πŸ’™πŸ’œ. I wish her the very very best πŸ’–πŸŒŸπŸ’–

      Liked by 4 people

  2. Teaching children what makes them weird as a kid, will make them an awesome adult should be in the national curriculum. I didn’t suffer with it too badly, nothing like people with yourself did. But I did understand when I was called creative it was the adult’s way of saying ‘we don’t know what to do with him’.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌ. Yes! I agree, it should be standard πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘πŸΌ. It’s funny, the self-esteem model taught us that we’re just fine the way we are, but sent us every message to the contrary by trying to cram us into the predetermined mould. I’m so glad you didn’t suffer so much πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’—

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Ah, yes. Such familiar territory, for myself and my children. I hurt for them now much more than for myself, of course. The sting for my own rejected feelings lessens with age and further self-realization, but for my beautiful kiddos, it’s that much harder to shake. I want it to be easier on them than it was for me. In some ways, I suppose it is. But others, especially socially, it is like looking in a mirror. Same old pain…I try hard to let home be the place they are accepted. ( Someone is still sometimes at odds with that, but improving lately. πŸ™‚) Thank you for a good share. Nice to at least not feel quite so alone. πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I hear you, my lovely 😘😘. I think your kids will have it a bit easier, simply because they have you for their mom, and you had…what you had 🌷🌷. I’m really happy that things are improving! (I will also totally respond to your most recent message soon; I’m sorry I hadn’t yet! But wanted you to know that I hadn’t forgotten ❣❣) πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ’–πŸŒŸπŸ’–πŸ’œπŸ’™πŸ’š

      Liked by 2 people

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