Eyes don’t sparkle … do they?

People talk a lot about peoples’ eyes.

It’s all about the eyes.

“His eyes twinkled.”

“Her eyes sparkled.”

These phrases stand at the ready, because they know they’ll be used.

Phrases like those are something I could never understand, because it’s something I’ve never noticed.  And I’ve always wondered about phrases like that, even though I never realized I was wondering.  Eyes don’t sparkle…  Do they?  They don’t twinkle, either.  So, why the weird terminology?

Forty years into my life so far, I still don’t quite get it, but for the past two of those years, I have finally known why I don’t get it.  How do you notice something, such as twinkling/sparkling eyes, when, as a general rule, you don’t look at them?

Two years in (meaning into this Asperger’s/autism discovery thing), I still don’t get it.  But that doesn’t mean that I don’t try to understand.  (It seems like I’m always trying to understand something–or several somethings.)  After all, think of how many times we’ve heard those terms, and multiply it.  That’s a lot of usage of terms like those.

Last night, I watched a true crime documentary (my recent idea of fun).  The show I watched featured the case of a guy who’d been murdered by his wife.  It included interviews with the victim’s sister and other family members.  They talked about how, early on in his marriage, he was so happy.

“His eyes sparkled,” they said.

And then the show displayed a still photo of the guy.  I looked closely, watching for any evidence of sparkling.

He was smiling genuinely, and his eyes were squinting as such, but I didn’t see what they meant by a “sparkle”, per se.  He was really happy, and you could tell he was giving off an in-love vibe.  His eyes did look warm and loving and friendly, but that’s all that I could see.

It’s not like eyes have glitter.  Eyes don’t sparkle.

People don’t “glow”, either.

“You’re glowing,” people have said to me, at various times over the years.

Chances are, I was indeed feeling chock-full of joy.  Maybe I was dippy-in-early-love, that infatuation that often comes in the early stages of a budding relationship.  Or maybe I was in love and totally excited about a new kitten or two.  Or maybe there was an extra spring to my step because I had just landed a much better job than the hell-hole I was in and I’d handed in my two-week notice and finally found the wings to fly.

But I don’t know if I’d call it “glowing”.  I mean, I’m not a radioactive Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (damn), nor am I bioluminescent, like certain oceanic bacteria or fireflies (damn again).

I might describe my outward display what it is: a dopey smile, a vibe of hope, a newfound lease on life, a skip to my walk, a sigh of relief.

But I probably don’t glow.

One might ask: what did I do for the 38.5 years of my life during which I had no clue of my Aspie/autistic neurotype, and people used phrases like these and it left me confused?

Well, I did what I suspect a lot of us in my situation did: I failed to understand what they were talking about, didn’t get what they meant by those phrases, but nodded, took them at their word, pretended like I knew what they were talking about, and responded in such a way that satisfied them but didn’t provide an invitation to go further down that line of conversation.  I remained confused afterward (what on earth do they mean?  I don’t see what they’re seeing or saying), but this type of situation remained a minor enough ordeal that it didn’t bother me.  The social obstacle it posed (and its personal impact to me) was–and still is–pretty minimal.

I’m not even exactly sure why I’m thinking–much less writing–about this today, other than the fact that it crossed my mind.  And if it crossed mine, then I’m sure it crosses the minds of others, too.

So, to anyone who has wondered about this, too, I’ll settle the score, at least from my perspective…

You’re not missing anything.  Eyes don’t actually sparkle.  People don’t actually glow.  Someone’s eyes might crinkle when they’re smiling, and they’ll probably display lighter body language when they’re happy or relieved or something.  And yes, it’s possible for humans to perceive and/or sense those things on some level.

But if you’re like me and you simply don’t get some of the euphemisms society often uses (where do people even get these?), then rest assured, you’re not alone.  You didn’t miss anything, I don’t think.  You’re not failing to see something others are seeing.  They don’t have magical eyesight; they’re just using silly and imprecise figures of speech.

It took me 40 years to nail that one down for myself, once and for all (grin).

In short, I’m probably taking things way too literally.  I’m sort of Asperger’s/autistic-stereotypical that way.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that (at all), but it does mean that I often find myself still trying to figure out how much of the rest of the world works.  (Yes, still.)

So, why the weird terminology, anyway?  I don’t know the answer to that one.  I’ve pondered it, too, and so far, I’ve drawn a blank.  Maybe it’s as simple as a subconscious need to be dramatic, on a general societal level.  Maybe since the average population tends to spend more time looking into peoples’ eyes, the eyes have become a focal point, and may hold greater importance in general.  Everything seems centered on the eyes.  Disney artists make sure that the characters’ eyes are huge and expressive – the “ideal eye”, or so sayeth society.  After all, the eyes are the windows to the soul and all that.

I’m not sure I want to know if mine sparkle.  I’ll keep my window to my soul to myself.  Does anybody sell proverbial eye curtains?  Amazon??

(Grin.)  😉


  1. I know exactly what you mean and have never used those phrases myself for that reason. I write ‘serviette smile’ for example, to refer to the wrinkles beside one’s eyes. I can only assume ‘twinkle’ it is meant in the metaphorical sense, but it is not realistic enough for me to use and too cliche! It is overused and I am sure it’s real original meaning has been lost. It sounds like it might have been an original Shakespeare-ism or something!

    Liked by 6 people

    1. I totally agree 😁👏🏼👏🏼👍🏼. I’m guessing it’s a metaphor, too, but it’s like a societal inside joke that I don’t quite get lol 😉. You’re so right about certain terms being cliché and overused. I often find myself getting bored when I encounter those overused phrases, although I sometimes use them myself (hello, My Name Is Laina, and I’m a Hypocrite!) 😂. I guess that’s what they’re there for, but if I use them, I try to do it in an unusual way or maybe in a very appropriate situation or something. It’s deliberate, anyway. But I’d rather come up with something more original when I can. Those phrases are there, but they’re like tools in a toolbox (see? 😂) – it’s possible to overuse the screwdriver, especially if that’s not quite the right tool 😉💖.

      In other news, Shakespeare!! Yeah!! 😁😁👍🏼

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            1. Thank you so much, dear one! 😍. I know I’ve been sort of a ghost on here 😳. I started back to school a little while ago, and it’s been kicking my butt lol. But it’s all good 😁👍. It’s really fun; it just has me hopping all week, and there’s a lot of writing involved lol. You’re so sweet and encouraging! Thank you for that 😍💖✨🌷

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              1. School! that’s great! hard work will pay off so hang in there ok..👍
                Plus I’m always here so no need to worry my friend. how can I not be sweet to you. your the best!😃👌
                Stay intouch😊✌
                much love your way blue eyes!💞

                Liked by 2 people

  2. As per usual Laina, another excellent post.

    Admittedly it’s not something l have ever thought about, l don’t specifically look at people’s eyes as you have already noted, it’s usually just below or just above, so l tend to see skin. Very few people do l even know the colour of their eyes let alone if they sparkle. I do however look at mouths a lot, and as such catch the very ‘glimmer’ of a smile. which l was always under the impresion that if people smiled, their whole face lit up, which would take us to another odd phrase all by itself!

    Atypical to my literalness, some time ago, l was at the doctors and he asked me to hop onto the bed, to which point, l did as he requested, and left foot raised, hopped over to the bed on my right foot! sadly, we are guilty of taking things literally at times, but in defence, there are some very silly phrases out there in this crazy world of ours 🙂

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    1. Wow, thank you for your kind words, my friend! 😍. You’re so right, and I can definitely relate! I’m very yin and yang with eye color. If I can steal a series of glances at someone when they’re not looking, I soak in their eye color very well, but if not, or it’s not someone close to me, then I have no clue about their eye color. Eye color is fascinating to me, but only if I feel a bond with that person 😊. I do tend to notice stuff like bags under their eyes or, like you mentioned, skin qualities, but that’s often as far as it goes 👍🏼. I find myself looking at their mouths, too, and I tend to notice attributes like dimples or thick/thin lips, teeth, etc. Or I’ll look at their eyebrows (lol); I’ve seen some really interesting eyebrows in my days! 😂

      Yeah, the whole face-lit-up… Lol! Taken literally, that makes for an interesting visual, eh? 😂. I see what you mean, though – yeah, what does that look like? I mean, I know what a smile looks like of course, but the face-lighting – that’s a different story. I think I get the concept on some level, but then again, since I don’t process faces in the same way, I’m probably not getting the whole experience of understanding, kinda like with the eye sparkle/twinkle thing. I don’t know if I see what others see in the same way that they see it. I’m guessing not lol. But that’s ok; I just do my best at doing my thing 😉😁💖

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    1. LOLOL 😂😂. Girl, I love the way you think! Candlelight would definitely make eyes sparkle, yes 😉👍🏼. A campfire, too! Oh man, now I want to go camping out in the desert mountains 😂👏🏼😍❣😉💓🐾😻🍾😎🌵🏔🏜

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        1. Omg yes! 😁👍🏼👏🏼😎. We’ll have to go more than once, because we gotta have my sister along for at least one trip – she and I actually sang karaoke to that very song! It was pretty damn funny; she knew all the words by heart, but I mumbled my best until the chorus (which is the only part I had down solid lol), and I remember the karaoke host saying “oh there you are” when it came to the chorus and I felt comfortable enough to do something besides mumble lol 😂😂. You have the best music tastes! 🎶🎶☮💝🌈🎤🎼🎧🍻✨🌵😎💗


  3. As always, Laina, you put things in such a way as to help me understand things I’ve always taken for granted. All the poetic/romantic speech patterns often don’t make much sense when taken literally, but probably arose from a need to express ourselves more fully, often using metaphors. I’d love to hear what you have to say about metaphors! 😉

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Hiya Eliza! 😊. Thank you for your encouraging words! I found what you had to say very helpful, especially helping me understand why various phrases came into being 💜. I remember hearing some metaphors when I was younger, and not understanding them at the time, either 😂. My mom did a pretty good job of explaining them to me at the time, so I learned most of them pretty quickly. Others, I (surprisingly) understood intuitively, even if I hadn’t heard them before – easy stuff like “two peas in a pod”, for example. Envisioning a pea pod, and knowing that the peas all look the same and they sit together, and then applying that concept to two people, that wasn’t too great a leap for me to make. But there were others that weren’t so easy lol. I can’t remember them right off, probably because I never understood them and thus, never really committed them to memory 😂. But yeah, I remember having (and sometimes, to an extent, still have) a mixed time with metaphors. It’s sort of hit-and-miss 😉💓💜

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I think of someone who has sparkling eyes as someone who is happy and healthy. They have a certain energy, perhaps mischeivous. Perhaps someone who was sad or ill or dehydrated wouldn’t have the sparkle? A sparkle or twinkle in the eye could perhaps go along with a boyish grin?
    Yes, none of it makes sense.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Hi Kate! It’s so great to see you again! How’ve you been? 😁. Thank you for sharing your perspective! I found it to be excellent food for thought. I think you’re on to something! 👏🏼. I think you’re right, it could be part of a whole package – the boyish grin, for example 👍🏼. I *can* tell a definite difference between someone with vitality and happiness vs someone with depression or who is ill or otherwise has the light/life/will sucked out of them. (That is, if they’re not masking or whatever.)
      Thank you so much for your comment 😁💗

      Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes! 😁😁. I find cats’ eyes much more expressive. But then, to be fair, I have no issues making eye contact with cats. I have a sort of apprehension when it comes to humans, but felines and even canines, no problem lol. I’m not sure why that is, but I have a theory or two (as usual 😂). I love your kitty pictures 😍😻😻🐾❣

      Liked by 2 people

  5. This was so funny and genius. I enjoyed reading it very much.

    I have a few opinions about eyes myself: I think they are one of the most expressive parts of our outward physical appearance. You are right, though, they don’t seem to “sparkle”. I have witnessed eyes looking soft, warm, intense, blank, teary… but yeah, can’t name an exact time that I saw a pair of eyes sparkle. I think its physically impossible, unless light is reflecting off of them and they are happy at the same time. I think someone could claim their eyes are “sparkling” then. lol

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  6. My husband has a poker face most of them time (probably because he is an Aspie, and some Aspies have poker face). I love it when I say or do something and then I see twinkle in his eyes, and then continued with a laughter. I am silly and I love to make my husband laugh. 🙂

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    1. That’s too cool! 😁. Yep some might say that I have a poker face too 😉. I call it my Resting Crabby Face because it has, through the years, elicited comments from well-meaning-but-uninformed people who ask me what’s wrong or tell me to smile! Lol. What’s really going on is that I’m actually just completely relaxed or in deep contemplative thought about something that probably isn’t even bad 😊. Your husband–and you!–both sound really cool 😊💗💗

      Liked by 1 person

  7. One of the greatest, if not the greatest, compliment I got from my girlfriend back in high school was that I smiled with my eyes. I’ve never been good at taking compliments but I cherish this one.
    BTW, I love crime documentaries (my old idea of fun).
    Nice to hear your voice again, you gorgeous you. How’s school?

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I’m really happy to see you, too, girl! 😍. That’s a really cool compliment to receive – the smiling with your eyes 😁. That’s too funny, too, because that’s one of the best compliments I’ve received from one of my offline friends, too! 😍. And she worded it just that way, too!

      Crime documentaries rock 😁😁

      School is busy as hell, but super-fun! I know I’ve been a ghost around here lately, and that’s definitely why 😊. Mondays and Tuesdays are jam-packed with trying to beat mid-week deadlines and all that, but so far I’m doing really well, which is very reassuring 👍🏼.

      It’s really awesome to hear your voice again, too, my pretty! How’ve you been? 💜💜

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I enjoyed this essay for its virtues as an essay, but I never even thought about this. I myself use a lot of metaphor, analogy, simile, imagery, etc. when I speak. think, and write, so even though I think you’re right to observe that eyes don’t literally sparkle or twinkle, for me it doesn’t seem weird at all that people speak in this way. I think I actually do it much more that even most normals do.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Even before I knew I was Autistic I have thought about that kind of thing, and many other odd things people say and do … but I, too, have understood (mostly) and used analogy and metaphors, and idioms and imagery for as long as I can remember (probably learnt at a young age, due to intelligence, and parents who had the time and inclination to explain stuff when I was very young, and wanted to know what everything meant, and who happily included me/let me listen when they talked to/with each other/me/others about all sorts of things, rather than just ignoring me and doing their own thing or something), and i use metaphors, figures of speech, etc a lot too … in fact I even make up my own, (and some of them are quite weird 🙂 … Which is sometimes useful, sometimes makes people laugh (or groan :), and sometimes just totally confuses people …

      Liked by 5 people

      1. Hehe yes! This, especially “i use metaphors, figures of speech, etc a lot too … in fact I even make up my own, (and some of them are quite weird 🙂 … Which is sometimes useful, sometimes makes people laugh (or groan :), and sometimes just totally confuses people.” Lol me too 😁👍🏼💙


    2. I think you’re right! I felt a little funny writing this post because I knew that there’s another side of this coin (see? Lol 😉). I’ve noticed that many of us do use metaphors and more artistic/poetic verbiage (hell, I know I do at times, and like another lovely commenter on here, sometimes I make up my own lol) 😊💗

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  9. I think “sparkle” and “Twinkle” might be the nearest words someone could think of, to describe something that there is actually no word that can describe what it was they were trying to describe … if that makes any sense … But I think I kind of sort of know what they were trying to explain … maybe… lol
    Oddly enough I do use and understand most metaphors and stuff (but not always – there is one I remember not really understanding for years, and not really realising I didn’t – then one day I suddenly realised what it meant, and laughed at myself because the meaning was funny, and it was so silly that I had not understood it, but I was also confused because I wasn’t quite sure what to make of the fact that I had not understood it sooner – it was before I knew I was Autistic).
    Also, I remember as a child/teenager, if a teacher or someone was talking to me about something awkward (telling me off, or telling me something important and I was meant to be listening, and look like I was paying attention), I would look at their necklace or top shirt button or the knot of their tie (… not sure I really liked looking at mouths either – eeeew – spit – ugh – lol) but somewhere along the line I have learnt to sort of do almost normal eye contact (normal enough that some psychologist I had been seeing a few years ago, when my ex husband walked out on me, refused to entertain the idea that I could have Aspergers because “you make good eye contact and can carry on a conversation with me” … sigh) but sometimes, in some situations, eye contact can make me feel very uncomfortable …
    There are a few things about me that are confusing, because they are not “typical” for an Aspie/Autistic person – one is that I am “too social” … maybe I have somehow managed to make talking to people a special interest? … or something like that – I am an extrovert, and don’t usually have social anxiety, and I love doing a lot of social stuff like going to quilting/etc meetings, or going to various events and meeting people and talking to people I don’t know – but I am not sure those I do it with like the fact that I do – lol (I tend to talk way too much, usually at the wrong times and/or about the wrong things, and i can be quite annoying … especially if I am excited about something, or stressed about something … when my tendency to want to talk about everything, and my tendency to have to use 1000 words to try and explain the thing I can’t immediately think of the right 10 words, or get them in the right order, to explain it, both get even worse than usual – I am a bit like that with my writing – but imagine what this comment would be like if I had to write it by hand/couldn’t edit it as I was writing it – it would be 5 times longer and probably not make sense 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for explaining this; I think you did a fine job! 👏🏼👍🏼.

      Yep, like you, I usually get most metaphors and figures of speech 😁. I just have this mental blockage when it comes to human faces, of all things! 😂. That’s really cool that you’re an extrovert! I ran an informal poll on Twitter a long time ago to see how many of us AS peeps were extroverts vs introverts. 98% of us introvert, 2% of us extrovert. I found that very interesting! It does show that we’re not all the same, even in terms of extrovert/introvert. Some of us are indeed quite social!

      I do wish I had less social anxiety 😁


  10. It’s bethany but wordpress won’tl let me leave any comments!!!!! So i had to sign into Facebook which I don’t even use anymore other than to save my photos. Ahhhh wordpress!!!!
    For someone like me, I get a “feeling” so if someone is radiant or glowing it is more of a way they make me feel as if I can feel their heart and soul are emitting this energy that I can feel that is a vibrational kind of thing. Yeah, I don’t know how to explain it. I guess no one else does either or they wouldn’t say glowing when you aren’t literally A GLOW. Yet some people can walk past me or I will talk to them and it is as if the world has disappeared and all I can feel is their voice and their love and their being and it is really a cool thing. I’m sure if I were around you I would say you felt like you radiated beauty only because I could feel from your vibe and your words and your empathy something that reached my heart. If that makes any sense AT ALL. Again..this is bethanykays over from ya know..my blog…that went insane today posting five billion posts because well…i felt like it!!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hiya!! I’m so sorry that WP is giving you trouble 💐. Thank you so much for sharing your insight! I like how you explained that. It does make perfect sense 😁👍🏼💖. I need to catch up on blog-reading! 🌷🍻🍾😎💪🏼❣


  11. I’ve often thought that this is one of the points where I fail at being autistic big time – because I don’t take things literally! Or, at any rate, I seem to differ in that respect from a lot of autistic people. (Note to self: must get round to writing that blog post about taking things literally.) All those metaphorical/poetic/symbolic expressions: I understand them perfectly. I have understood them for as long as I can think back, I don’t remember ever having a problem with them. In no way do they seem weird or silly to me. I think there are two reasons. One is imagination: when I read ‘his eyes sparkled’, in my imagination they do sparkle a bit. When I read ‘she glowed’, in my imagination she does glow, a bit. No, of course eyes do not really sparkle. But does that lack of realism bother me? Not in the slightest. If I can imagine it, that’s real enough.
    The second reason is my brain’s hyperconnectivity. When I hear that someone’s eyes sparkle, this immediately triggers connections to their probable emotional state, to the ways their face would actually look like (not literally sparkling, but happy), I get an impression of a whole range of feelings and a ton of associations that go with ‘sparkling eyes’, and all this is so quick that I don’t have time to be confused by the expression because my brain presents me with explanations straight away. In a way, it might be my autism that helps me to understand metaphors better. Funny, huh?
    Of course, sometimes I come across an expression I haven’t heard before, and I might not immediately know what it means. And sometimes, I do take things literally. But literary/poetic language has never been a problem. Perhaps because I learned so much of it so early?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oooh, I like your perspective! 😍. I don’t think you fail at being autistic 😁. After all, I’ve noticed that many of us *do* speak in more poetic language, often coming up with figures of speech of our own 😁. In fact, I felt a little funny writing this post because I knew that I was only telling half the story, but meh, I ran with it lol 😉.

      As for me, this particular post is only half of my story, too, in that I do feel this confusion about other people’s faces, but I also understand other metaphors and figures of speech on an intuitive level. It does take a little imagination for me 😊

      I think it does help that you got started early, sure 👍🏼.

      I like the way you use imagination! That will likely help me a lot when it comes to references to human faces; thank you so much for that! 💖✨💖👍🏼💜

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I don’t like terms like that either, but that’s not because I don’t feel I ‘get them,’ it’s because they’re clichéd. And inaccurate, for someone’s eyes to sparkle, they’d have to be a mutant or something. It simply doesn’t happen. 😛

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  13. hm, interesting to read about eyes specifically. I don’t know for sure whether I am on the autism spectrum or not, but one of the reasons some people suspected that was that I do avoid eye contact (even my teacher at school complained about it).

    however, in 2016 I made another strange discovery, which is that apparently I’m what they call “energy-sensitive”, or perhaps, in more scientific terms, I have a form of synaesthesia (I sometimes “see” colors associated with someone’s emotions/state of being, I often sense their emotions in my own body, and/or if they have a pain or disease I sense a shadow of it in my own body, too … which yes, can be disturbing).

    when researching that topic like crazy, I came across the information – which seems to be well-established in the world of people who consider themselves energy-sensitive – that one of the most basic and forceful ways to “catch” someone’s energy – to start feeling the other’s emotions and physical sensations involuntarily – is eye contact.

    at that point something “clicked” for me; because I asked myself, WHY am i avoiding eye contact? my intuitive answer is that it feels kind of “blinding”, like someone is shining a sharp, overwhelming light straight into my pupils, and it just makes me distressed and very tired very soon – just like you can’t stare into a stadium reflector for more than a split second.

    i then tried to deliberately experiment with it and avoid eye contact less. and i would say that this “energy sensitivity” hypothesis seems pretty true – when I ignore my instinct and make more contact, often very weird things happen (like, i somehow feel “sucked into” the other person, or “flooded” by their vibe, or i start “seeing” and feeling things that i really don’t want to see and feel – it’s just far too intense and perhaps intimate).

    now since there seem to be a lot of people who know much more about autism than me on here, i wanted to ask – is the “autistic” variety of avoiding eye contact clearly different from that? not a question of overwhelm, but more like – no relevance/interest (sorry if the question comes across dumb, just i really don’t know :)?

    i would really appreciate if someone could comment back on this so i can understand the difference.

    ps. also concerning “sparkles” … perhaps i’m quite opposite in that regard, as for me it’s actually not a figure of speech – i can sometimes physically sense a “sparkling” feeling around my eyes (or even inside them) when i look certain people in the eye; or concerning “glow” something that does feel like a warm, encompassing beam of light-warmth – i would assume that perhaps not everyone physically feels these subtle sensations, but maybe these figures of speech were made up by people who do? just an idea.

    thanks for the interesting and informative site!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much for your comment, Sasha! Please forgive me for the late reply; my presence on here has been a little sporadic in recent weeks 😳💗. I’m with you; I avoid eye contact as much as possible. It’s not that I’m hiding anything or being dishonest; it’s that it’s uncomfortable for me 😊.

      Energy sensitive! That makes a lot of sense. It’s neat to know the term for it. I’ve often felt something like you describe 🤗. Mine works a bit differently in terms of specifics, but yep, same general premise 👍🏼👍🏼. “Sucked into the other person” *really* resonates with me👏🏼; I feel the same way! 😉

      I would say (speaking only for myself and from what I’ve read) that yes, the avoiding eye contact does seem to be exactly what you’re saying–the excess intimacy, the intensity, etc. I would also say that for me, it’s also overwhelming for me, and it feels like an intrusion, a penetration that is unwanted. Others may experience and describe it differently, but given what I know, you nailed it pretty well 👍🏼👍🏼

      Yep, in the rare instances where I perceive sparkles, it’s usually more of an energetic or physical feeling, as opposed to something visual 😊💖

      Thanks again, and again, I apologize! I totally don’t mean to ignore you (or anyone else I might still need to respond to)! 💝🌺💝

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I don’t know my friend. I do believe eyes can sparkle. Also the eyes can die. Many photos of soldiers with the million mile stare. The eyes, keep secrets or show you wonder.

    Liked by 4 people

  15. the eyes are gateways to the soul. it’s a phrase i’ve heard a lot, in multiple languages, used in different cultures. I used to notice the difference an emotion could bring to the eyes. Twinkle or sparkle, is the light that appears in ones eyes, reflections of their emotions – to me anyway. i haven’t seen anyone’s eyes light up with joy, darken with sadness for a long time, but i know i’ve seen it before. The problem though, is not with you, it’s that genuine emotion is hard to come by now a days.
    this is a great post. I’ve often wondered how people see emotions, knowing each has a unique way.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I think you’re absolutely right! Genuine emotions *are* getting rarer. I wonder if it might be because emojis are so easy to type, “fire and forget”, and people increasingly often substitute social media interaction in place of face-to-face interaction? I don’t have any answers, those are things I just wonder about sometimes 😊. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! You make excellent points, and have given some really good food for thought here 💗

      Liked by 1 person

  16. I think such expressions are just metaphorical describing the state of mind of a person. Knowing the state of mind of a man depends to so me extent on your facial expression and body carriage. Thanks for writing and sharing your opinion. Do have a nice day.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Hello Laina

    My heartfelt thanks to you for following my blog, and for all the likes & comments!And hope we continue to grow and support each other in this journey!

    Also, my blog A Wayward Scribbles reached the milestone of 500+ followers last month and I thought why not celebrate it!

    So, I’m very excited to personally invite you to my blog party(23 May, 2018), since you’re one of those amazing blogger who chose to follow my blog and I would love to show my gratitude!

    See you at the party!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG I am so sorry that I just saw this and that I missed the party! :O 😦 It’s been pretty chaotic around here lately ❤ May I have a rain check for the next one, if there is one? (I hope there is! And if there is, I'll give it my best shot to participate!) ❤ ❤


        1. Thank you, my lovely! I’m currently trying to plan a “WordPress Day” where I’ll devote a day to just catching up on blogs 😁. Not sure exactly when, but it’s got to be soon; I’m going through withdrawals! Lol 😉💜


  18. Hello and thank you for enjoying my blogs. People use different words to express what they feel. Instead of saying, ”You look wonderful,” they may say, ”You’re glowing” or ”You radiant warmth.” I prefer words that make sense too, but others see it differently. Take care.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. “So, why the weird terminology, anyway?”

    Do a Google Scholar search for “George Lakoff” and “Conceptual Metaphors.” He has some interesting phrases on where those silly phrases come from, and how humans come to associate concepts that aren’t entirely related with each other (e.g. behind in a job one doesn’t like as being ‘trapped’). I even have a few papers I’d be willing to share with you, if you’re interested.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi! Please forgive the really late reply; I’m catching up on WP after a full and speedy summer lol. I am totally going to look up the name you mentioned! This stuff fascinates me 😁 Thank you for sharing this! 🖐❣️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh my, I just re-read the comment I left you and it’s full of typos! I must have been exceptionally tired or exceptionally rushed when I wrote it. My apologies! I’m glad you could still make sense of it.

        But yes, George Lakoff has a lot to say about why completely unrelated concepts (e.g. warmth and friendliness) become linked in our language.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Hehe typos? Hell, I didn’t even notice them (which is hilarious because I used to be a proofreader 😂 Don’t worry though, I don’t think less of anyone for typos; I’m not even perfect myself lol). Anyway, I’m pretty riveted here! Anything I can use to decode this thing called How People Tick is a gem in my book! Thanks so kindly! 🖐🏼💖

          Liked by 1 person

  20. I know some of my blogs may disturb viewers from time to time, but I only hope to open minds and hearts. We can learn so much from each other. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You are so welcome! If you don’t get to it, don’t worry–I simply wanted you to know how much I (and surely others) enjoy and appreciate your writing! 💖


    1. Hey girl! 😘😘. Yep, I’m hanging in there 💗. Just finished my first quarter at school and signed up for my summer classes 😁👍🏼. I ended up doing really well; 98% in one class and 108% in the other 😂. But there’s been so much writing for those classes that my energy gets sapped a lot 💞. I’m so sorry to have been such a ghost for so long! I really need to make a “WordPress Day” this week, where all I do is catch up on blog reading (and probably some writing too lol!) 😁. It totally warms my heart that you reached out to me, my lovely! 😍. One thing I have not forgotten is you! I’ve been thinking about you a whole lot 💜. How have you been? 😘😘🌺🍀🌺


      1. You just popped into my mind today and I realized hey she hasn’t posted anything so I just wanted to make sure you were ok over there!!!
        I’m so proud of you for doing so well in your classes!!!!
        Yeah, after writing I would be drained of all brain power. No blogging after schooling for sure. Totally get that!
        I’m ok. My legs are TRYING to tell me they aren’t ok but I keep telling them to fuck off and doing things anyway.😘😘❤️❤️❤️

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Omg did I really not reply to this? Or is WP pulling my leg? I guess either scenario is equally likely at this point 😘😘. I’m totally playing catch up lol 😂 Anyway, thank you so much for your encouraging words and celebrating with me! I did really well spring quarter 😁 My summer performance has been softer, but the subject matter this term doesn’t come quite as naturally to me lol. Good for you for showing your legs who’s boss! 💪🏼 Do take care of you and let yourself rest when you need it, yada yada, nothing you haven’t heard before, I’m sounding like a complete nag, I just really care about you 😍 But good on you! Staying active, whether physically, mentally, or both, is awesome. Benefits galore. Very much love to you girl 😘😘😘🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼❣️❣️❣️

          Liked by 1 person

  21. “You can’t have your cake and eat it too” always confused me. I just googled it after it came to mind after reading your post, and I sort of understand it now. Lol great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you girl! 🤗 Yes! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. That one (about the cake) took me forever to figure out, too! I was all “well aren’t ‘have’ and ‘eat’ the same thing when it comes to food??” I got it eventually but it was tough to hide that blank expression I’m sure I had until I did 😉💚💙

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Thank you so much for all the love you showed on my posts, slowly losing hope on this blogging journey and it is people like you that help the spark light up again. May we continue to grow brighter than ever. Stay the inspiring spark that you are 💜

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Awww I’m so sorry to hear, my lovely 💐💐. Please please don’t give up 🙌🏼 Blog for You first, and genuine allies will find you 😘😉💗. You’re very welcome for the love; it’s much deserved! Your writing is amazing, and you have much to share. The world would not be the same without your writing in it 🖐🏼💓💙

      Liked by 1 person

        1. I hear you, my lovely 😘. It took me forever to get this blog going, and my oldest blog (10 years old this fall) is still really small (although I kinda like that one that way) 😉. When you’re trying to connect and reach a larger audience though, it can be really discouraging. It can even hurt. That part sucks 💐💐. But do hang in there, dear one! The right people will appear at the right time and you can be sure they’re genuinely with you 💗

          Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s wonderful! I hope serves you well, too. In case it helps, I can tell you that I found some strength writing mine and meeting others who write theirs 🌸 I’ll follow! I’m looking forward to reading what you have to say 💟


    2. Confused Aspie, did you type the URL for your blog incorrectly? When I clicked on the link above your comment I got the error message “confusedaspie.wordpress.com doesn’t exist”. Please let me know what the correct URL is and I will add it to the Actually Autistic Blogs List (unless you’d prefer not). Thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

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